From My Heart

Me and you and a dog name Aheim

2012-02-09T11:44:00.000+08:00

My boyfriend's neighbour has a dog name Aheim. But sometimes he was called Husky which i don't know why. Either way, he listens to both name. He is a very silly dog.

Anyway, yesterday my boyfriend and i decided to go for a walk in a park in Tabuan Jaya called Taman Rimba. The park is called Taman Rimba (Forest Park) because it is some kind of forest reservation in a park. Guess who tag along? Aheim. Well, we don't mind him following because he looks so cute and I know that he will be SOOOO happy if he get his walk in the greenery. Of course the park doesn't allow dogs inside so if the staff asked, we'll just say, "not our dog, he is the one following us."

When we reached the park, I can actually see that he is smiling happily. He run here and there, excited to go to every place that he could. Aheim is a friendly dog but he is TOO friendly. He likes to sniff of random people's butt. Which makes us have to call out his name repeatedly. Fuh, at one point, it feels like having a child going to the park with us. At first it was ok because a lot of people there doesnt seems to mind having him around. Sometimes he runs along with joggers. Those who understand dogs, didnt have problem with that though. Some even pats him in the head. But as time goes by, more people coming and not all people is a fan of a dog.

First, there was this incident where a girl was walking steadily passing Aheim. Then, everything changed when Aheim decided to go sniff her butt. Oh dear, she was screaming crazily with arms shaking above her head. What a sight. We then draw Aheim away and when we think it is safe, we laugh hysterically. I know it is cruel but her actions is so funny.

Then there was this two guys. Running gracefully passed us when suddenly Aheim did a surprise attack towards them. Surprise attack as in he followed them running. But those guys were afraid of him and they ran back passed me, hiding behind a tree. Haha..another funny sight. So much for their machoness just now. This time only my boyfriend draws him away.

And then things got worst when a jogger try to act violently towards the dog. He looked so scary even I felt scared. Then again my boyfriend draws him away. This time we took the road less taken. Wouldn't want to do another commotion. What i like about Aheim is, when he runs ahead of us and we were left behind, he will stop and wait for us and when we called out his name, he will come back to us. What i don't is when we almost reach him, he runs further away which makes it hard to control him. In the end, we just let him do whatever he pleases and stop in a spot if we sense that somebody is not a fan of him. We know he will stop bothering people if we didn't follow him.

There is a small pool in this side of the road and we let him drink there. At first, he was just drinking, then he decided to soak all of his feet and sit on the water. He went out of the pool, didn't even bother shaking of all the excess water. Silly dog. But his silliness is what makes him so entertaining. Anyway, suddenly, we heard a loud sound amongst the tree. We searched for the sound and guess what we found? A family of monkeys. (Damn, i should have brought my camera.) They were shouting at Aheim. Maybe because he is violating their territories. Oh ya, I forgot to tell you that Aheim marks his territories in every tree that he saw. I wonder where did he get so much pee.

When we wanted to go home, Aheim refused to follow us. He found his friend in the park. I think he likes the other dog because he keep on pursuing towards her but the other dog were angry. At first my boyfriend calls him to go back but he just ignored my boyfriend. When we reached the ticketing counter, the staff there told us no dogs are allowed. We just nod and told him what we had planned to say earlier on. I asked my boyfriend to drag him out of the place but he wouldn't. He said Aheim will eventually follow us. With hesitation, I followed my boyfriend towards the main entrance. True enough, he did followed us after a very long distance away from each other.

We went home and i let Aheim go through the neighbour's gate. Then i told her about Aheim mischievousness and she went on scolding him. Aheim just sat in front of his owner and smile happily because he knows she was not that angry.

I felt like i am writing a school exam's essay right now. Haha..anyway, Aheim is a fun, loving, funny, silly and loyal dog. If i'm having a dog, i would want a dog like him.

Aheim, the silly dog.

2012 so far

2012-02-07T01:42:00.000+08:00

So far, 2012 had been quite amazing to me. I got my result and it was out of my prediction. Subjects that i am sure that i'll get an A didn't and so does subjects that i thought will bring me down. I get 1 A- and other subjects all B's. Forgot which gets B+, B and B-. Fuh, talking about that, i really need to struggle for the next semester because it is my LAST semester!

Anyway, last sunday i got myself a tattoo. But it is just a temporary tattoo, an airbrush tattoo. I can't never do a real one on me because my parents will kill me. Anyway, I did it for fun and since they only charge me RM8 for it, I was like OK!. I chose the Leo symbol design.

Nice? For me it is.

Today or should i say yesterday was Chap Goh Mei= the last day of Chinese New Year Celebration. You know what that means? Fireworks!!! I like them so much. Since I can't take picture of the fireworks during CNY due to rain (wouldn't want my camera to get wet), yesterday was the perfect day to held out my camera. Funny thing is when I was outside, all ready to take a nice,decent fireworks picture, only a few of them were lit. But as soon as i stepped into the house, it is like they are having a war out there. So i go in and out of my house repeatedly till the point of me getting annoyed by the situation. End of story: I just went in feeling angry and disappointed. But anyway, i did get few good picture of the fireworks. Enjoy!

Happy Feblessary 2012

2012-02-02T19:49:00.000+08:00

It's my Feblessary again. For those who don't know what is a Feblessary, it is just an anniversary my boyfriend and I had created since last year. It is our 11 month-sary of every year we are together + valentine's day. We created it last year because we can't celebrate valentine together. Don't mind us, we are both hopeless romantic. This lovey-dovey thing is important to us. Tehee..

Anyway, i made a surprise for my boyfriend. My boyfriend is the type that will appreciate the things that you did yourselves than things that you buy in the store. I have NNNNNOOOO idea what to give him so i made him heart shape chocolate candies.

I learn it on youtube and it is pretty easy to make. But don't use the regular chocolate bar that you usually eat. You have to use cooking chocolate. I know this because i use the regular chocolate bar and it breaks my heart. Why? Because the moment i transfer them to the plate, it broke into half. Huhu..anyway, this is my ~~perfect~~ heart shape chocolate candies.

Cadbury heart choc candies for my Feblessary

To my love,

Happy Feblessary Baby. I Heart You!

2012

2012-01-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!

Yes, it is almost the end of January but heck, i'm still gonna wish it.
I know i have been abandoning this blog for awhile but i can't help it, i found no internet connection in my hostel room.
I am on mental freeze so now i am trying to defrost my brain so that i can write better on my research paper. All i have written is a 1 paragraph sentence.

Will talk more tomorrow.

My life so far..

2011-11-18T17:36:00.000+08:00

Well,
There could be tons of excuses that i could write here to tell you why i have not been blogging lately. One of the reason is because my college's wifi suck and that had make me become lazy.

Anyway, last week i went to the Logos Hope Ship Floating Book Fair with my boyfriend. It was fun and i enjoyed every single second that i am there.And the most incredible thing is we went there backpackers style, by bus and foot. Most people will go there by car, either by own transport, taxi or hitchhike their friend's car. Its an adventure for us because we have never been to Pending, well at least not by bus. The bus stopped near the Unaco's Pending sideroad and we have to walk all the way to the port from there. It's quite far though plus the heat is eating us up but when we reach Logos Hope, it was worth the mile. Anyhow, this is the picture.

The coolest thing ever! They are still doing their fair even when the volcano is showing signs of erupting.

The Do's and Dont's

The prodigal son

Hmm..which path should i take?

Aww...he looks so cute!

I'm the captain of the ship!

Ok, he is the captain of the ship definitely.

Try and spot the spinning coin. Can you find it?

Ice cream and soda. Nyum2!

My baby enjoying his ice cream.

Clubs in Logos? No, this is just a dummy set. A demonstration of HIV awareness. Coolest thing ever!

Logos ship, part of our sweet life.

I'm flying.

Picture when blur because of the force field he produce when he fly.

When we have finished our trip, we missed the bus which resulted with us waiting for the bus for 1 hour and 15 minutes under the extremely hot sun. Doesnt matter because the ship is awesome! Bought a bible (finally) and a French-English dictionary book.

P/s: I was devastated that we buy stuff earlier. We should make a full round of the ship first before buying stuff because there are lots of interesting books to buy.

Problematic

2011-09-28T11:44:00.001+08:00

Things are definitely getting tougher now. Study wise, money wise, time wise and relationship wise.
Study wise...well, i need to do my final year project and i think my supervisor is trying to change my tittle. No, i am not blaming her. I myself think that my tittle is not strong enough and with a little sources to quote from, my fyp would be a disaster. But, i'll think of it and if i think it suits my interest, i'll do it.

Money wise..currently, i still have money to eat. But that's just it. My money is just enough for me to eat. I can't buy anything else. I just hope it will get better.

Time wise, i think i have been wasting my time a lot. It's time for me to refocus. But sadly, i have volunteered myself to work and it has left me with little time for resting and studying. I am not sure why i want it. Probably because of my current financial problem.

Relationship wise...
It is still good. I am still in love with him and we are still crazy about each other. But due to my busy-ness and his buzy-ness, we cant entertain each other much. He is also in his final years and is also working. He work everyday starting from 1 until 11. And i have class from 8-5, sometimes until 7, and works every sunday, monday, wednesday and friday. This has lead us to message each other less and by the time we had finish working, we are tired. The only time we can message each other properly is on tuesday but still i miss him so dearly.

I miss the moment we watch the star together,
miss the time we drove all night, going nowhere, exploring new places,
miss going to the beach, taking a stroll.
i miss talking to him all day and night long,
i miss his smile and his laugh,
i miss holding his hand
i miss his warm hug and kisses
i miss everything about him.

Nevermind, we will have our moment. One day, i just wanna escape this hectic life and go to this quiet, peaceful place with wonderful natures around us and we will enjoy the scenery and the company of each other.
and yes, i am hopelessly in love.

Till then.

*Damn, i feel so emotional now*

Hi new semester! Hi 3rd Year!

2011-09-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, i've been on hiatus for almost a month now. I did write something last time but i deleted it. I am not sure why though. Probably because i did it for the sake of updating my current situation.

Anyway, i am not going to tell you how my semester start. It was same old, same old. Just that the first, two weeks, i've been ~~a little~~ A LOT lazier than i was. I was taking my own sweet time before realizing i need to step up my game. I know i can and i know i have the potential but my laziness and procrastination had stop me from doing so.

No more.
From today, i'll be different. I hope i can manage my time wisely so that i can read up to 50 journals, working at night, studying, doing assignment, and still have the time for my love one.

My only hope and wish now is to keep what i say today.

Till then.

*I need to sleep*

Pageantry world

2011-09-09T09:26:00.001+08:00

If i have the chance, i would definitely not miss the Miss Universe show. I don't know why and i'm not all girly but i have always have a thing for pageantry. Maybe because i love seeing beautiful woman with their absolutely amazing attire on stage.

Would i want to be on stage like them? I would if i can.

I know some of you might look down on this whole pageantry business. Although i do agree that it is kinda degrading woman when they have to come out with their sexy two piece bikini, but being in a pageantry is not all smiles and sunshine. You have to have that extra UMPH to be in this world.

Okay, let list down the extra UMPH you need to be in a beauty contest.
1. You need to be CONFIDENT.
- You think standing in front of the stage, judge by a thousand pairs of eyes is easy? Go and try it yourself. If you don't get nervous or self conscious about yourself, treated that way, there must be something wrong with you.
-Confidence is the key of success. People can actually see if you are nervous. People can tell them by the way you talk, by the way you look at people, the direction you are looking at and also from your body posture. But if you are confident with yourself, you can walk pass a gazillion people and not worry about anything they say about you. You can wear plastic bags on your body and march in front of people and not feel ashamed. I saw a lot of beautiful woman out there and their beauty is hidden because they feel shy gazing to other people's eyes. And there are a lot of so-so girl, ok looking girl, who have high confidence in themselves and people looked at them as if they were angels sent from above.

2. You need to have DISCIPLINE.
-When you enter pageantry, fame follows. When fame follows, money coming into your pocket. With a lot of money, you can buy a lot of food. Even food that you once can't afford to buy. And being in a pageantry, you have to look healthy. Not too skinny and not too flabby. Which also means, you have to control your daily food intake and exercise. You have to tone up your body so that you will look extra hot when wearing those sexy bikini. This is when having a strong discipline helps. Without discipline, you can never tone up your body in time and broke several diet rules which later on resulting in you having not so hot body.

- Wearing high heels and smiling all day also requires you to have discipline. Imagine standing up straight with 4-5 inches of high heels and smiling sincerely to each camera for 3-4 hours. It hurts! Been there, done that. When i was form 4, I joined my school pageantry program called Dewi Merdeka. I wore a 5 inch high heel and we have to stand in front of the stage hours and hours, smiling like a fool and it hurts so badly! To top off my aching leg, i have to smile all day until my mouth cramped and started vibrating for itself. Without discipline, I would have just get off the stage and throw away my damn heels.

So, think again before you think lowly of beauty pageant. Not everyone can do what they did.

Anyway, Miss Universe is coming soon. Like really really soon. This 13th September 2011 (Eastern date), 89 really beautiful and amazing woman will compete against each other in hopes to get the crown and also the Miss Universe title.

My choice?

Miss Deborah Priya Henry. Photo credit to Miss Universe Malaysia Official Facebook Page

Of course, my country~~man~~ woman. Miss Malaysia.

I don't usually pick Miss Malaysia as my favourite girl to win the competition but for this year, i am fully voting for her. She has a natural look that is beautiful even without make-up. During her whole trip in Brazil, she really kept Malaysian sensitivity by not showing too much skin but still looking incredibly sexy. She looks classy and elegant. But it is not only her beauty that capture my heart, it is her high confidence level and her beautiful heart. She is an activist and is an active member of the world vision. She also co-founded Fugee School, a non-profit charity organisation that provides basic education to close to 90 Somalian refugee children. Need i say more on why I like her?

And look, she had already won the Miss Global Personality, one of the side award in Miss Universe Pageantry with 9.75 points and third place for the Global Beauties Most Beautiful National Costume. What an achievement! Lets just hope that all this small awards will eventually win her the Miss Universe 2011 title and make Malaysia proud.

Miss Global Personality
http://www.globalbeauties.com/universe/2011/09/miss-gb-universe-2011-the-first-scores-interview/

Miss Most Beautiful National Costumes
http://www.globalbeauties.com/universe/2011/09/gb-most-beautiful-national-costume-goes-to/

Anyway, today at 8am, there's a preliminary round for all the contestant. Really really hope that she gets the spot. And oh ya speaking of voting, let us all help her by voting for her online. The contestant with the highest vote will secure a place in Top 16.

http://www.missuniverse.com/

All the best Miss Malaysia. <3

* I can't never use a bikini*

This time, I'll stop and wait.

2011-09-07T10:03:00.000+08:00

I am tired of chasing and running,
You keep walking and walking, never turning back,
I try to catch you but you never wait,
This little heartache will eventually eat me alive.

My heart belongs to thee and will always be thy,
But dont let it go mouldy and dusty,
Because all those parasite would come and crush my heart,
And if they do, there'll be no hope.

This time I'll stop and wait,
Waiting if you will ever look back,
I'm out of breath right now,
I wonder would you ever look back?

This time I'll stop and wait,
Patching up the wounds,
Picking up the pieces of my heart that you left on the ground,
And if you ever turn around,
I'll give it back to you,
But there's no guarantee that it'll be full again.

* 4 more days*

Unsure

2011-09-06T10:23:00.000+08:00

Exactly one more week and i will be in Kuching. And i don't know if i should feel happy or sad.

Of course at first i was happy, excited, ecstatic because after months of hurting my arse sitting in front of my lappy and practically doing nothing, at last, i will be back in my university doing something. Of course i'll complain later about not getting enough rest and feeling super lazy, but at least when i am there, there will be a balance of things. Balance as in, there will be times i'll be busy and there will be times that i wont.
Plus, there are a lot of place that i would like to explore with my friends and my lover. And oh ya, talking about my lover, he is in Kuching too! So, we will be ale to spend time together after 2 months separated from each other..

But,
When i told my siblings that i will be going to Kuching soon, they asked me Why and begged me to stay. My little brother even agreed to do everything that i asked him to do when i told him that i will go back Kuching straight away if he refused. I am an evil sister.Haha.But it was sweet of him to do that because he know that i will have to go, doesn't matter if he did what i wanted or not.

Anyway, when they did that, i kinda feel hesitated to go back to Kuching. Even my little sister who always fought with me asked me to stay. When put into this situation,i felt helpless, what can i do?What can i say to them?

I am in dilema. I love my studies,friends and boyfriend but at the same time i love my siblings as well. I wish i can cut myself into half so that i can satisfy both parties.

My little sister

My little brother

My Very Own Camera

2011-09-01T13:20:00.001+08:00

Since the 30 day challenge ended, i have less and less things to write. Well actually, i do but due to my procrastinating habit, i delayed everything until i forgot about the things that i want to write.

Anyway, my dad bought me a camera last Monday and i am feeling extremely happy. Well, one of the reason is i don't have to use my money to buy it, i finally have a camera of my own and now, i can take the basic photography course. All i have to do now is to be fast enough to register for that course because that course only take certain amount of people in a class. And the quota fills up real quick.

My dad bought me a Nikon Coolpix L23. At first, i didn't want it when we browse for camera the day before because i am not so sure of the minimum megapixel required for the course and i thought that the larger the megapixel is, the better. And actually, my dad didn't want to buy me a camera. He rather buy me a phone with a camera. For him, it is even better than a camera. A multitasking device is better than a single purpose device, he added.

Both my father and I are hard headed, full of ourselves and egoistic. He didn't want to listen to me and i don't want to listen to him. At the end of the day, we left the store feeling dissatisfied towards each other. Haha.. At that time, i was sure that i am not getting a camera any sooner. But, the next day, without me convincing him, he told me that he is going to buy me a camera. He even agreed to my sister who wanted to straighten her hair. I don't know what had gotten inside him but i am sure grateful that he was feeling kinda generous that day.

Thank God i asked my friend who took this course last semester earlier on the minimum megapixel requirement. Turns out, we only need at least a 7 megapixel camera. Fuh..that is a relieve.
I even google search for information on how to buy a camera. Turns out, a large megapixel does not guarantee a sharp picture. In fact, it creates a whole lot of noise in the picture. Other than that, to buy a camera, you have to consider a whole lot of factors which are the start-up time, the shutter lag, the zoom, the continuous shot and lots more. All this information opened my eyes, heart and mind so choosing a camera after that is easy.

My camera turns out great. The only defective thing is it has no continuous shot. Other than that, it was alright. 10 megapixel, sharp picture, the start-up time and the shutter lag are quite fast, 5x optical zoom and the best thing is it only cost us RM299.

I can't say a lot on camera because i am not a camera expert. All i know is that the picture come out great.

My camera...but mine is in silver colour.

Till then,

Selamat Hari Raya and Merdeka all.

Who did great on their MV? Mizz Nina, Zee Avi or Nadhira?

2011-08-28T01:14:00.002+08:00

I am one of those double standard Malaysian who rarely listen to songs of my own language or my nation language. I love listening to English song because there is always a song for every emotion which i can hardly find in my own culture's song. (Exception to Kadazan/Dusun song which has a place in my heart since i was a little girl) It's not that i never listen to Malay song, i do. I grew up listening to them but somehow i think Malaysian Malay music industry has downgraded itself. I found old Malay song has more soul than the new ones. But that is just my opinion.

Enough about me. I am writing because of this three gorgeous Malaysian female. These three ladies are going international and I must say that I am impress. Their song has the same quality as those in the Hollywood. When i first heard them on the radio, i thought their songs are from the west countries but boy, i was wrong. Never in my life i would have imagine that a local talent could make such beautiful songs like they have. Well done ladies!

Now to the serious part.

Mizz Nina feat Florida- Take Over

I love this song. I love the fun vibe in this song, i love the melody, i love the lyrics and i love the fact that Florida is in it. Mizz Nina really knows how to catch people's attention by her choice of music and the people she collaborates with. But music video wise, i am disappointed. I am expecting more of it. Part of the reason is because she is collaborating with Florida and another reason is i really hope that she learn more from all the criticism from her first music video that she made with Colby O'Donis.
Well, maybe she did learn a thing or two from her first music video which is not dressing too sexy and the music video must be less provocative which is good since she is a Muslim (not going to comment more since i have no problem with any of that). But that makes her music video looking dull and boring. I was expecting more for this song. A music video that, hmm...i don't know, maybe hypes up people when watching it. Well, it is a song about partying so i guess more party in the video maybe? I don't know. Impress me.
I know that she is trying to please her fans especially Muslim fans when they advised her on her clothing and stuff, but she could come up with a new, creative idea for her music video. For example, LMAO- Party Rock Anthem. Less sexy outfits, less provocative movement, they didnt do it in the club but yet it is a fun music video. The kind that i would watch over and over again.
But then again, if i am not mistaken, it is not her who came up with the concept, it is her creative director. If this is true, my advice is, get rid of your creative director. That person makes you look bad.

Zee Avi- The Book of Morris Johnson

She rocks! Among all these three ladies, she is the only one who has Vevo. Okay, i don't know what's the deal with Vevo but since all the successful artist has their own Vevo, it is a cool thing that she has one.

Anyway, unlike Mizz Nina's song, i have never heard of this song, never even heard it on the radio ( I wonder why). I just randomly type in her name after i watch Mizz Nina's mv. This is her new single and although i still can't grasp the meaning of the song, it has this laid-back kind of melody. The kind of song you wanna hear when you are cheerful. Very calming.

Music video wise, it is suitable to the song. I love how they put in all those forest elements in the music video and the african dance in it. I dont know if it is an african dance though but it has that african feel.haha..

The best part of the music video? Watching Zee dancing to the song. She look so adorable! And the dance is exactly the kind of move that i would make if i'm listening to the song. Good job.

And the winner goes to...

Nadhira feat Ron E. Jones- Tear Us Apart

I just have to say that Nadhira's music video is the best among this three. It is simple yet the message is clear. It looks edgy and it looks effortless. I know this kind of music video is kinda a cliche since i've seen it one too many times but for them to pull it off in the street of Malaysia and make it look like they are somewhere else is kinda cool. The story line for this music video is kinda blurry at first but if you hear out the lyrics when you are watching the video, you will get the answer of why Nadhira was mad at first but in the end smile at Ron when they meet up again.

The story line match up with the song and yes, i get the concept. Well done to Nadhira and her team. Wish to hear a whole lot more of great songs from you.

Overall, all three ladies struggle hard to achieve their dream and we as their fan should never underestimate the amount of time and energy that they have sacrifice to please us. We can criticize them but please mind your words. Some of the comments are inappropriate, unnecessary and degrading. Even if they have done wrong, all we can do is advice.

* Can't wait to meet them personally*

A poem about dad

2011-08-25T11:58:00.000+08:00

When i was hanging up my clothes, i have this one poem lingering inside my head. It was a sad but at the same time inspiring poem about a girl who had lost her dad. It is so inspiring that someone altered the poem as a remembrance of the 9-11 incident but the sad thing is, it was done out of the author's acknowledgement and so it made her mad. Ever since that, no one can reproduced/copy her poem without her consent. I really want to share this poem with all of you but going through all of the process is quite troublesome, so I am just going to give you the link. Enjoy!

Daddy's Day Poem

By Cheryl Costello-Forshey

Doctors and Nurses

2011-08-22T10:05:00.000+08:00

Doctors and nurses, people look highly on them. Every child wants to be them and every parents wants their children to be doctors or nurses because their pay are good. But little do people know why their salary is good.

Becoming a doctor and nurse, you have to play with life and death. One wrong move, your patient might be dead and GAME OVER. Take the right path and you will get a handsome reward. Besides that, you can't rest well because you are on-call 24-7. If there is an emergency, you will have to go to the hospital as soon as possible or you might get punished by your superior. Other than that, you have to work on shift so it also means less time for family, friends and your social life. You will also have to deal with a lot of spectator. Onlookers such as the patients, the caretakers and the visitors. They will always look at how you work and comment on it. If you are lucky, you might get a complaint from your faithful spectators.

But between a nurse and a doctor, becoming a nurse is even more stressful. Nurses are the one who have to meet the patients, visitors and caretakers all the time. Nurses are the first person a patient/visitors/caretakers will look for if there is something they want to ask or do. And nurses can't do anything without doctor's advice. If nurses didn't act fast, the doctor will throw tantrum towards the nurses. Becoming a nurse also require you to be punctual. You have to give medicine to your patients according to the time, doesn't matter if it is 3am in the morning. You also constantly need to check their blood pressure and vital signs besides checking for any abnormality on the patients and the patient's progress. Other than that, you have to do all the dirty and heavy work. You have to lift patients up and clean after their "waste" product. Tiring and disgusting right?

But that makes becoming a nurse so much, erm...what is the suitable word?divine?much more noble than a doctor, i guess? Because you need extra patience to deal with patient. You need to be caring but at the same time precise and strict to the patient.

Want to be a nurse? My advice, make sure you are really passionate in becoming a nurse. Because it takes more than hard work and big brain to be a successful nurse. Want to be a doctor? Put the patient first, not the money and learn how to speak properly to your patients and their family because most doctor doesn't do that.

Okay, out of idea again. Till then.

Patients and caretakers

2011-08-20T00:25:00.001+08:00

Since i am in hospital, i made a lot of observation. On the doctors, nurses, patients and caretakers since they are the one i look at for this two days.

Patients, they are the one who keeps the hospital running. Without them, there will be no doctors or nurses. There are various kind of patients. One is,

1. The obedient patients
Like my bf's sister! Obedient patients are patients that follows every instructions and advises that the nurses and doctors gave to them. They will do everything even if it hurts them or they don't like it just so they can recover faster.

2. The fast recovery patients.
They fulfill their mission as the obedient patients. They only have to stay in the hospital for 2-3 days or maybe a day.

3. The slow recovery patients.
They want to heal fast but due to some complications such as the body can't tolerate with the medicine, the healing process become later.

4. The "can't do anything" patient
I pity them. This kind of patient are the helpless one. The doctor and nurses can ease the pain or make you live longer but the sickness remains.

5. The disobedient and hard headed patients
This kind of patients kind of irritates me. They don't want to listen to the doctors' and nurses' advice but yet they are the one who make the most scenes when they are in pain. I personally think, if you don't want to listen to the doctors and nurses, don't come and check on yourself.

6. The lonely patients
They don't have caretakers. The only time they do is during visiting hours then they are back being alone again.

Okay, enough on the patients. Now the caretaker.

1. The busybody type.
This type of caretaker spends too much time in the hospital that they know every single thing that happens in the ward and wants to know everything that happens in the hospital. They are friendly but ~~sometimes~~ most of the time annoying.

2. The relax type.
Like me. Hehe. Well, this kind of caretaker took care of patients with mild sickness. They are only busy the first day after the one that they are taking care of had their surgery because that is the time when patients need extra care. After that, if the patients respond well to the medicine, the patients will start doing things by their own and only needed help on certain area.

3. The chipsmore caretaker.
Just like Chipsmore, now you see them then they are gone. This kind of caretakers pops in and pops out whenever they want and sometimes pops out of the hospital at the most inconvenience time.i.e. The one they are taking care of feels sick. I don't mind actually but those who really need taking care of need a caretaker that will always be by their side.

4. The obedient caretaker.
This is what every patients regardless of low or high dependency on caretakers need. They will be by your side 24-7, leave just to go to the toilet and when he/she feels that you are stable and will only leave you when other relatives come and visit.

So, now you have it. The different types of patients and caretakers in the hospital according to me. From here i realise that no matter how strong you are and how independent you are, there will be time that you need to depend on someone so badly, you could cry.

* Up next- Doctors and Nurses*

Day 30- Who are you?

2011-08-19T22:55:00.001+08:00

Hi bloggie. I miss you. I'm supposed to post this two days ago but i was in the hospital. No, i was not sick but taking care of my bf's sister who suffered from appendicitis. Pity her, she was alone in the hospital. Her parents is in Kota Kinabalu and his brother (my bf) is in Kuching, so no one to take care of her, so i offered myself since i am her only "relative" in Labuan. Well, come to think of it, if i am not her brother's girlfriend, i am her relative since my mother and her father come from the same village. So, the blood ties is there. I just hope that it is not TOO close or else i might have to let my relationship go. (*SAD*) But, so far so good, nobody opposed us, so i guess it's going to be fine.

Anyway, who am i? I am what i am. I define myself. Haha. I sound like some philosopher now. Serious time.

How do you define yourself? Hmm..what can i say about myself. I am a procrastinator and i like to study last minutes. I don't like to arrange my stuff properly and i like to eat. I am taking communication studies but yet i don't think i can communicate well. I am hopeless romantic and I love babies and little kids. I love my little brother.

Summary: I am still searching for my identity because i still confuse myself

By the way,
it is the end of the journey for me in this challenge. Hope i inspired you and if i wrote something that hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable, i am sorry. And also for my bad grammar and typo error. Really sorry. As for me, i will continue blogging but not as often as now since i am still in search of new idea to blog about. Till then, toodles.

* My english is deteriorating *

Recipe for Kuih Penjaram

2011-08-16T13:03:00.000+08:00

Kuih Penjaram is a Malaysian delicacies. The name is so local that i dont know how to translate it in English. In Sabah we call it Kuih Penjaram, i dont know what do they call it in Sarawak or Semenanjung Malaysia though. I don't even know if it is in Semenanjung Malaysia as well. My bad though because i have never gone there. Sad, right? Huhu..
Last week, my mum taught me how to do it.Here is the recipe.

1kg Wheat Flour
1kg Rice Flour
A coconut. (grated)
6 cups of water
Sugar
Green coloring/ 500gm brown sugar
Oil for cooking
* The only defect in the recipe is my mum pour in the sugar according to her preferences. No measurement. So if you are going to add sugar, add in a little bit and taste it. You can add more if it is not sweet. If you are going to use brown sugar as the coloring, pour in a little bit of sugar to avoid your mixture becoming too sweet. You can always add a little bit of sugar whenever you feel that it is not sweet.

1. Put 6 cups of water inside a large bowl. Add in the grated coconut and start milking the grated coconut until all the juice has dried out. Put away the grated coconut waste.

2. In a different bowl, add in the wheat flour and the rice flour. Mix it together. Make a hole in the middle of the flour. Using a sieve, pour in the coconut juice inside the hole. Mix the flour and the coconut juice well using a wooden spatula. Add in sugar. Put the mixture inside the fridge and leave it for a night.

3. Take out the mixture and divide it into two ( if you are going to do both the green colour and the brown colour) Pour in 1 teaspoon of green coloring inside the mixture.(You can always add more if you feel your mixture is not green enough) Add in more sugar if it is still tasteless.Mix it well.

4. In the other mixture, add in the brown sugar. Make sure you break all the sugar because some brown sugar tends to be lumpy. Taste it, if it is not sweet enough, add more sugar. Mix it well.

Cooking the mixture.
5. Heat your pan. Make sure your pan is not too big. The smaller the better. Pour in oil. The amount of oil you use to fry chicken and fish, that is the amount of oil you need to cook for kuih penjaram.
6. Spoon out the mixture using ladle and pour it in the pan. Pour it in a fix position. Bath the mixture with oil before turning it.Make sure the mixture had finish rising before turning it. After you've turn it, use a chopstick to make a hole in the middle of the kuih. Still using the chopstick, take out the kuih. Make sure you toss the kuih first before taking it out of the pan completely.
7. Put in a plate and serve.

* You can stop frying the kuih if you feel tired. Just put it in the fridge again. The mixture can last in the fridge for 3 days*

Enjoy!

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?

2011-08-16T09:56:00.000+08:00

In the past month i learned that i have to change though it is hard to do. I am lazy but i want great achievement. I am a big spender but i dont save.I ask my siblings to study when i am busy playing with my laptop. And there are so many things that i have to change. How i hope that i can change all my bad attitude. Slowly but surely. I am out of idea. Till then.=)

Day 28- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

2011-08-15T11:07:00.000+08:00

From when i was a little girl until now, my life depends on this. No matter where i go, people will ask for this. And no matter how i study, what will this give me will make a big impact to me. I am sure you are too.

Sometimes it is frustrating because our life is so much more than a couple of A, B, C, D, E, F but as long as you are a student, people will always ask for your grades and no matter who you are and how kind you are, the letter that will put a smile on their faces and amaze them is an A. Not an average B or C.

Telling people that you get an F will make people frown at you and asking you 21 questions of WHY?

As for me, this certainly has a big impact on me. Getting an F will make me cry for days or maybe weeks or most probably every time i am thinking of it or reminded on that letter F. Getting an A is a different story. That letter A puts a smile on my face and on my parents face. The letter A also makes my parents and myself feel proud of me.

So, are you in my position?

* Hope i can do better nest semester.*

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

2011-08-13T15:07:00.000+08:00

I usually don't commit myself into things that needed me to do it in a long term. I mean simple-simple things like this is not one of the things that i favor. But due to the government decision to extend our holiday from 2 months to 4 months in order to match the summer season that the west countries have, i have nothing to do. I did went to work but the work isn't suitable for me and when i wanted to work again, my parents forbids me to. I encountered this challenge 1 too many times that i decided to do this. It was fun as at least i have something to do everyday..:)

Good things are meant to share

2011-08-13T01:40:00.002+08:00

So i was browsing and i found a video of my friend singing on Youtube. My friend is a very talented singer and i am sure that you will be dazzled by her performances. Enough talking, let the person itself sway you with her voice.

This is my friend Phyll and her sister( or cousin), Kerry singing Lovesong- Adele

Just Can't Get Enough- Black Eyed Peas

2011-08-13T00:13:00.001+08:00

I've done this in Facebook but since it is so fun, i wanted to do it in my blog as well.

RULES :

1. Put your music library on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write that song title as the answer to the question,

no matter how silly it sounds!

Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.

4. Ok, go!

5. When you're done, tag 20 people in this note,

and make sure to tag the person who sent you this.

The answer to #20 is the Title of your note

1.If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say

Goodbye Baby- Miss A

2. How would you describe yourself?

I Hate You- 2NE1

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

What's My Name- Rihanna ft Drake

4. How do you feel today?

Jet Lag- Simple Plan ft Natasha Beddingfield

5. What is your life’s purpose?

Beautiful/Dynamite- Aj Rafael Cover

6. What's your motto?

Elle Me Controle- Matt Pokora

7. What do your friends think of you?

Moves Like Jagger- Maroon 5 feat Christina Aguilera

8. What do you think of your parents?

Turn Around- Bruno Mars

9. What do you think about very often?

Baby Goodnight- GD & Top

10. What is 2 + 2?

Don't Stay- Linkin Park

11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?

I Wanna Go- Britney Spears

12. What do you think of the person you like?

Bottoms Up- Trey Songz ft Nicki Minaj

13. What is your life story?

Don't Stop The Party- Black Eyed Peas

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

D'amour et D'amitie- Corneille

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

Boomerang- Dj Felli Fell ft Akon& Pitbull

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Motivation- Kelly Rowland

17. What will they play at your funeral?

I'm Into You- Jennifer Lopez

18. What is your biggest fear?

Run The World- Beyonce

19. What is your biggest secret?

Give Me Everything- Pitbull, Nayer& Ne-yo

20. What will you post this as?

Just Can't Get Enough- Black Eyed Peas

The Verdict: What i did in Facebook feels so much fun because the question and answers are kinda synchronized. I am tagging all of my fellow bloggers. Come lets join in the fun!

Day 26- What you think about your friends

2011-08-12T09:16:00.000+08:00

My friends are awesome. They are the best people in the world. I couldn't live without them because they are the one who put a smile on my face. When i am down, they are the one comforting me and when i am happy they are the one that i look for to share the joy. I might not be the best friend for all my friends but i always appreciate them for being by my side no matter what. I love you friends.=)

Heartbreaking news

2011-08-11T10:17:00.004+08:00

I am a former student in SRB ST.MARY in Sibu (now SK ST. MARY) and i am proud to say that. That school has great reputation in producing good student. I am sad to say that i am not one of those good student. Just an average student. By the way, my old senior recently added me in Facebook. We chat a little bit and he told me that part of the school collapsed.

Laluan Pejalan Kaki Runtuh, Tujuh Murid SK St Mary Cedera.

Walkway to our music room and lab.

SIBU: Tujuh murid Sekolah Kebangsaan (SK) St Mary cedera ringan dan menerima rawatan sebagai pesakit luar di Hospital Sibu selepas laluan pejalan kaki kayu menuju ke bilik makmal sekolah itu runtuh, pagi semalam.

Kejadian dipercayai berlaku sekitar jam 11.30 pagi sejurus bermula sesi kedua pembelajaran selepas waktu rehat.

Setiausaha Lembaga Peng-urusan Sekolah Vincent Tang berkata, ketika kejadian sekumpulan murid termasuk guru kelas sedang mengguna-kan laluan berkenaan apabila ia tiba-tiba runtuh.

“Kita percaya, punca kejadian ialah laluan berkenaan tidak dapat menampung muatan berlebihan dan terlalu ba-nyak barangan ditempatkan di situ, termasuk almari,” ujar beliau ketika ditemui semalam.

Bagaimanapun, ujar beliau, kejadian itu tidak mempe-ngaruhi struktur bangunan sekolah yang lain dan para ibu bapa tidak perlu risau me-ngenai keselamatan anak-anak mereka.

Menurut Vincent, pihak lembaga sekolah bercadang untuk membina laluan se-mentara di kawasan runtuh, sementara menunggu bangunan sekolah yang baru siap.

Bangunan baru sekolah berkenaan yang menelan kos kira-kira RM2 juta dijangka siap sepenuhnya pada tahun ini.

Sementara itu, Ahli Dewan Undangan Negeri (ADUN) Bawang Assan, Dato Sri Wong Soon Koh bergegas ke tempat kejadian selepas dimaklumkan mengenai insiden itu.

(News taken from The Borneo Post Online)

Oh my! I know St. Mary is an old school. Very old school. Built since 1912 0r 1812, i forgot. It's been awhile since i've been there. The school was made wholly by wood. They say it is made from kayu belian (litrally translated as diamond wood), the kind of wood that sticks together without using any nail. And the school is built on swamps. I miss this school very much. This is where i learn how to speak Iban and Melayu Sarawak. ( The only language i know last time is Malay, English, Chinese and Kadazan)

This is also the place where all races come together as one community. Since there is only one class for each year, we are crammed into one class altogether. 50 students (maximum) per class and there are chinese, indian, iban, malay, melanau and other ethnics in the class. All of us either talk in Malay or English. Even among those who have the same race.

Another heartbreaking news is the priest that I love so much has passed away. It is already two years since he left us.

Rev. Father James Muhren

Why I love him so much?

He is warm and generous. I remember when i was in school, whenever he came back from his trip oversea, he will buy us candies and chocolates. He will come to our school, doesn't matter if we are still in class session because that is the only time he can meet us other than going to the church and gave us the candy. Every students get one candy each and the candy was delicious.

I also remember last time when i wanted to buy prayer book from the church but i didn't know the shop operating hours. I went there and there is no one. On my way down, i met him and he told me that the shop will be open the next day. So, the next day i come and there he was in the shop, waiting for me with a warm smile. How thoughtful!

I am kinda sad knowing that he has already passed away. I ever have this dream of wanting to get married in St. Mary's Church and i wanted him to be the priest on my big day. Too bad it won't come true.

Father Muhren, you are the best priest ever. I hope that you will be place among the holy ones and i pray that your soul will always be happy up there. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Day 25- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

2011-08-11T09:32:00.000+08:00

Somewhere i've been to? Hmm..i don't travel much..Currently i am here.

Labuan!

* Faebook is turning us into a bunch of stalkers*

Women are Sinful?

2011-08-11T01:12:00.000+08:00

This question has always been playing in my mind.

When a rape case happens,

" It's the woman's fault. If she wear decent clothes,she wouldn't be rape!"

" But what about those who wear a scarf, long blouse and long skirt/ trousers?"

" Probably because the rapist watch pornography beforehand, that's why. But still a woman fault. Probably because she was alone in dark places and plus, if a woman didn't act in the porn video and provoke men, any man wouldn't harm any woman! It is known that men can't control their lust, it's the women's responsibility to watch over their body/movement/act/ words."

When talking about the end of the day (Doomsday),

" I think doomsday is nearing, we better prepare ourselves."

" How did you know that?"

" Look around. Women's population are larger than men. It is said that if that happens, doomsday is coming."

This two examples are cases that i have heard one too many times. Sometimes it plays too often in our ears that we tend to accept and believe that what people say is a fact/ true. But as i grow older, the notion of " It is a woman's fault if she gets rape" sounds extremely wrong. I wonder why is it a woman's fault if she was raped? She was the victim, not the one raping. And why is it acceptable that man has lust that he can't control? Man should be responsible of what he has done not blame it on his unstable hormones. A rape victim is not the one we should blame, she didn't want to be rape and she didn't chose to be rape but why everybody is talking bad about someone especially when the person was raped?

And those porn videos. When there is a demand, there is a supply. No demand = No supply. Simple business formula. No need for Adam Smith to come and explain. Most demands comes from man. So why was it again that it is a woman's fault? I am not supporting prostitution but i know that some prostitutes are forced to that job. They were kidnapped and was held hostage. Some did it for money as they are very poor. Some were being sold. Some were tricked. So many reason why they are prostituting. Yet, people just don't understand.

And the other case, i don't know if it was written in any religion's holy book but since everyone is saying that, it might be written somewhere. As a woman myself, i feel sad and offended by the fact that i might be the reason of the world's doomsday. I don't want to be the reason of anyone's death. If we are so sinful, why created us? Why bring us to the world? Why give the most noble job of delivering a baby to woman? Might as well give it to the man. Okay, i might sound offending to God and man now. I shall stop.

* I am blabbing in the middle of the night*

Awesome people on my birthday.

2011-08-10T09:59:00.000+08:00

My birthday suppose to be very dull and very boring. One reason, i am not around my friends and another reason is because my parents can't celebrate my birthday due to some complications. But still i am grateful to be able to live another day and to have hundreds of birthday wishes. Thanks people, all of you are awesome and i appreciate every single wishes that all of you have given to me.

Back to my first sentence, it is suppose to be boring and dull. But at 5pm, my mum brought me a gift. I thought it was from her. When i look at the box, there's a paper. Turns out the gift is from my boyfriend. It was in my mum's mail today. It was beautifully wrap but due to my greediness and un-patience attitude, i just tore the wrapper off. I regret not taking pictures of it.

He gave me a pair of earrings, a packet of biscuit and a birthday card.

My day gets better when Dorren, told me she will bake a cake for me. Funny thing about it is, she is my boyfriend's friend and we are connected only by facebook. We only met once and it is only for 5 minutes, which is when she past by my house.

I felt very grateful and blessed to have met someone like her.

She bake me a chocolate cake and even gave me presents which is a box of perfume and bracelet specially made by her mother.

I can't never thank her enough for her thoughtfulness and kindness. Anyway, turns out it is her dad's birthday today. I wish i can do something for her dad tho but there isn't. All i have with me is prayers and birthday wishes. To Dorren's dad,

* I thank God everyday for letting me linger around amazing people*

Day 24- A letter to your parents

2011-08-10T09:10:00.000+08:00

Dear parents,

I love you so much. You are my everything. Thank you for rising me up and putting up with all my crazy behavior. Forgive me for all my wrongdoings. Although sometimes we don't see things the same way, we are not in the same page of the book and i am not your best supporter, i will always be there for you and help you whenever i can and able. Sorry, i'm not good in words and this is all i can write to you guys but i do hope my action speaks louder than words because i love you more than any words could say.

Sincerely,
Your naughty daughter.

It's my birthday..

2011-08-09T09:31:00.000+08:00

9 august is the day i was born. 9.8.89. Nice number, right?
Anyway,few days ago, i was thinking of blocking my Facebook wall post for awhile because i remember what my boyfriend said, if the people are your true friends, they will remember your birthday ( i was asking on why he didn't post out his birth of date on his profile) and i wanted to see who is really my real friend.

But then again, who am i to say those who didn't remember/ wish me birthday is not my real friend? Maybe they forgot or maybe they never know because i never tell them because they never ask. I know i am that kind of person. I seldom ask for people's birth date unless i need it. Does that makes me a fake friend when i don't know my friend's birth date? (Sorry baby if you are reading this, this is just my opinion)

Living for 22 years, i sure have taste all kind of feelings which eventually makes me, ME. But thank God, i don't have to face this world alone. I have my family and friends to walk with me through the bad times and good times. I love you guys so much. Appreciate it to the max!

Till then.

*Wish i can celebrate it with a cake though*

Day 23- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

2011-08-09T08:38:00.001+08:00

I like stalking. Very much.I don't know why but i like to know what others are doing Probably because i have a high level of curiousity. But if i know something i wont go around telling people what i know. Only to my best friend. But then again stalking is a bad habit and one should not practice stalking.

Procrastinating..
Another bad habit that i wish i didn't have. Like now, i am suppose to hang the clothes but i am still here blogging..

*Till then, i have a lot of bad habit i wish i didnt have*

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

2011-08-08T09:42:00.000+08:00

Wow..it's already day 22..almost to the end of the challenge. So what makes me different from everyone else is probably,

1. My home address.
I never have a fix home address. I never stay a place longer than 5 years. After 5 years, i'll be moving. This happens since i was a little girl.

2. I am independent
If you are my university friends, you will always see me walking alone. It's not that i don't have friends, i do. I just don't like to make people wait for me.

3.My second name.
People always pronounce it differently. Spell it differently.

* Can't think of any differences.*

Would you touch a breast?

2011-08-07T18:20:00.000+08:00

Would you touch someone's breast if they want you to do so? I am sure for guys the answer would be a definite yes. What is your reaction if i tell you that can actually do that to women from the age of 15 and above without anyone being mad at you? Fact is, they allow you to do so. Okay, i am not selling myself and nobody is going to touch mine. But these people will. Don't believe me? Read this.

Aug 5, 2011

Breast-Touching Festival is on in China

The Chinese have entered the seventh month of the Lunar calendar, known as the Hungry Ghost month, which began July 31.
This period is considered unlucky for many Chinese as they believe that the ghosts are allowed to return to the human realm as the Hell Gate opens throughout the month. While the Buddhists and Taoists prepare offerings for the homeless ghosts, a minority tribe in China have their own interesting celebration.
The Yi people in Ejia town of Yunnan province, those who are still single, will head to the streets for Breast-Touching Festival on the 14th, 15th and 16th days of the month. On these days, the men are welcome to touch the women's breasts.
Legend has it that the festival began around the Sui Dynasty (AD 581 ? 619) when most of the teenagers of the Yi tribe were forced into the army and died in wars.
The people then carried out prayers to commemorate the dead, and it happened that the ceremony was held in the seventh month. According to the wizards, the dead were unrest because they had not touched a woman before.
And so, they wanted 10 'pure and untouched' ladies to accompany them in the afterworld. In a move to prevent them from being chosen, the single women - aged 15 and above - then asked the men to touch their breasts, and the custom is past down for generations. -- THE STAR/ASIA NEWS NETWORK

Now, you believe me?

My point of view? Humans are a bunch of crazy creature.

* A culture's custom might be a taboo to another culture.*

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

2011-08-07T09:48:00.000+08:00

I'm easily pleased. Do something silly and you see me smiling. Pictures rarely make me smile. Anyway, this is my happy face.

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

2011-08-06T10:02:00.000+08:00

Go through the all the other days that i have written for this challenge, the person who i always mention and the one person who have various of pictures with me is the one i want to marry and the one i see myself being with in the future.=)

Starbucks Not Halal?

2011-08-05T10:35:00.000+08:00

First of all, i don't drink coffee, so going to Starbucks/ Coffee Bean or anything that has link with coffee is a rare occasion to me. If i am going there, i'll be either following a friend or i'll be ordering tea, chocolate or milk. Never coffee drink. I just don't like coffee. I feel like my breath is extra stinky if i drink coffee. So to say that i am supporting Starbucks/Coffee Beans because i love their drinks is not true.

BUT

I feel like writing when my friends kept on writing on their Facebook status that Starbucks/ Coffee Bean in Malaysia is not Halal and i have encountered these statuses since last year. I personally think that if it is Haram( literally translated as forbidden to eat/drink/touch), the government won't even allowed them to set foot in Malaysia in the first place. Malaysian authorities are very strict in dealing with food and beverage from outside the country and they will check their menu's thoroughly. The news was a hoax and had been spread out through emails since the last FIVE years ago with ill intention.

Big companies such as Starbucks/ Coffee Beans will definitely do a market research first before setting their branch here and of course they will look for things that might hurt their business relationship with the local people. They then try to assimilate their product with what the local people prefer. Same goes to other western branch in Malaysia.

So people, please think twice and check your facts before you spread the news out because sometimes what you spread to other people might harm others and yourself. Spreading rumors about big companies might get you a letter from the courthouse and you will not love it if that happens.

To know more about which product is Haram or Halal, visit http://www.halal.gov.my

But of course, the best thing to do if you are not sure of the products is to avoid them.

*Luckily for me, i don't have to worry about this thing. =p*

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

2011-08-05T08:59:00.000+08:00

Nicknames:

Maan, Nayra, Ayra, Mandy

These are all my nicknames. Maan was taken from my real name and people call me Maan since i was form 1. Mostly classmates and schoolmates will call me by this name. Maybe my name is too long to pronounce and that is why they call me maan.

Nayra is my second name. Sometimes when my teacher is in a playful/joyful/cheerful mode, they will call me with my second name. But when i was in Convent School, people start calling me by my second name probably because there are too many amanda's in the school.

Only 1 person ever call me Ayra which is my ex. He call me Ayra because when i first met him, i introduced myself as Ayra.

Some call me Mandy. I have no idea why. It is a nice name but i feel weird when people call me Mandy.

*Whatever names i have, I am still me*

Day 18/ Love Relationship

2011-08-04T13:43:00.000+08:00

I am supposed to write a letter to someone who hurt me recently, which i did yesterday but i decided to delete the post. Why?
Because i felt that writing a letter when you are mad is not very wise. When you are angry, you don't think rationally. You will do something foolish, childish and out of your own mind. All of that summarize me yesterday. I am foolish, childish and not thinking rationally. When i've cool down, the thought of him reading it and feeling very hurtful will make me feel even painful.

Being in love is great, being in a relationship with someone you love is amazing. For a few months of your relationship, you will be wrap around your partner, literally clinging to each other and every single time spend with your partner feels like magic. Like you are living the dream. There will be no arguments and if you do argue, it is for the simplest thing and can be resolved in an hour or two. The longest time of argument: A day.

BUT

After all the infatuation is over, you really need to prepare your heart, mind and think of all the good times you have spent together. Because there will be more arguments, more heartbreaks and more misunderstanding. Why? It is because of the simplest thing that you have argued before, the one that you are willing to put off before becomes the very reason that annoys you. One of you will get bored and fed up of the same problem invading your love life and burst. This will lead into a bigger argument and if the problem stays, that problem will be the very reason for the relationship to break.

Being in a relationship is not easy because you constantly need to think about your partner's feelings and at the same time caring your own feelings. So those who are single, don't jump into a relationship because you are lonely or because all of your friends have a partner, it's time for you to have one, be in a relationship because you are in love. Because you are willing to sacrifice anything to have that special someone in your arms and because you are ready to commit. You need all of these reason because being in a relationship means mortgaging your heart to someone. Either you get your heart back as it was or not, its totally up to how you manage your relationship. If you can't handle it, then you better off be single.

As for me, i am still loving my man and we are trying best working out our relationship because the memories that we have created are too precious to throw away and the dreams that we have build together has become my life purpose.=)

Anyway, to Sandra Jane, my friend/classmate,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Lifeless

2011-08-03T10:20:00.000+08:00

What is happening to me? For two straight days i feel lifeless and lazy. I feel very moody. Even the things i love the most can't cheer me up. Usually, i'll be updating facebook status non-stop, but this two day, less updates. Blog? I am writing but with no emotion at all. I tried cheering myself up but still i am still gloomy. Maybe it's the weather. It is dark but at the same time hot. Or maybe it is just me. Maybe just maybe. The long list of maybe continues.

*I hope i'll cheer up soon because i don't like this at all.*

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

2011-08-03T09:41:00.000+08:00

Kate Middleton!

Why?

Because she married a prince that everyone wants to marry. Teehee =)

Day 16- Another pictures of yourself that you think is interesting

2011-08-02T09:37:00.000+08:00

Rawr! Fear me!

1st August

2011-08-01T19:36:00.000+08:00

Can i get a Woot! Woot! for August?

1ST August means a lot to my friends and I...want to know why?

Today is Friendship Day. I am not sure if it's true tho because there is a lot of answers regarding to when is the real friendship day date. But whatever it is, in my former school, Convent St. Francis, we will wish everyone a Happy Friendship Day every 1st of August. Some of our school clubs will also take advantage of this and sell gifts to us. Usually, they will take order a week or two before the real date.

Anyway,

Happy Friendship Day To All of You Who Knows Me!! I Love You Guys So Much For Being My Friend..

Besides that 1st August is also the first day of fasting month for my Muslim friends. Oh how i wish the government didn't change our entrance date. If not, i will be in Kuching now with my friends doing what we do best. FOOD HUNTING!

Every Ramadhan month, there will be a Bazaar Ramadhan opposite our campus. There will be lots and lots of food hawkers selling various types of Halal food. Oh, thinking of it already makes me hungry.Imagine all the murtabak, the roasted fish and the icy cold cendol that i can eat..nyum..nyum..Bazaar Ramadhan is only open for a few hours and it is on a first come, first serve basis. If you are late, all those fresh, hot, delicious food will disappear and all you have left are the bad ones.

Bad ones? The bad ones are usually those hawker who didnt practice cleanliness in their food preparation. Sometimes, if you are lucky, you might be chewing on those crunchy roach instead of the chicken. Those who always buy in Bazaar Ramadhan will know which hawker serve the best food.

What i like most about this whole food fiesta? It is not the food that i love, it is the companionship of my friends and the sharing of food that i love and crave most. During this month, my friends and i will buy a lot of food to bring back to our college and after that we will share those food and eat together. Aww...how i miss that moment. To my Muslim friends,

Another thing about 1st August is, I am officially dating my boyfriend for 1 year and 5 months.Teehee..

Till then.

*I am an August Baby..*wink* *wink*

Background Edited

2011-08-01T16:26:00.000+08:00

I finally edited my background. It doesn't look messy as the one i did before and it fits perfectly. Hooray to myself!

To those who wants a background like mine:

1. In Adobe Photoshop ( Other software will do as long as you can adjust, crop, copy and paste your photo), open a new documents with the size of 1800x 1600 pixels along with several of your picture. Copy paste all your selected picture in the documents. Arrange it according to your preferences. Save it under jpeg. file. Your picture size must not exceed 300k.

2. In Blogger, go to Design-Template Designer. Choose your template. (For mine, i use the two-columns template, Awesome Ink in Black). After that, go to Background. Click on the Background Image and choose file. Click on the Upload button after you have chosen your file.

3. After you have uploaded it, you can align it anyway you want, tile it or make your background scroll with your page.

4. After you have finish adjusting your image, click on the APPLY ON BLOG button and you are finish.=)

* Don't get frustrated when you can get it perfectly the first time, just try and try again. You can search for " How To Make Your Own Blogger Background" and there are tons of blogs/ websites that show us on how to do so specifically. Hope my post helps. Till then=)*

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

2011-08-01T09:30:00.000+08:00

I don't have an iPod. I wish i have...sob..sob...anyway..i'm using Real Player for this one.
Ok..here goes.

1. Matt Pokora- Catch Me If You Can

2. Matt Pokora- Danse Pour Moi

3. Jennifer Lopez- I'm Into You

4. Chris Medina- What Are Words

5. Katy Perry feat Kanye West- E.T

6. Jennifer Lopez- On The Floor

7. Britney Spears- Till The World Ends

8. Rihanna feat Drake- What's My Name

9. Jeremih feat 50 Cent- Down On Me

10. Paramore- Monster.

The Verdict- Team Pop wins..hehe..These are some of the songs that I love..feel free to search for them if you never heard of them.
I'm sure none of you ever heard of French songs. If you like Justin Timberlake and R&B, Matt Pokora is the perfect artist to listen to. He has the voice and the move. Ahhh..he is so hot!

* Brings me back to when i'm taking French Class. It was all French songs in my song list.*

Word!

2011-07-31T12:35:00.000+08:00

Exactly!

Day 14- A picture of you and your family/loved one

2011-07-31T09:17:00.001+08:00

My lil sister, Andrea, Me and my li bro, Myron

*Not feeling well. Kbye.

Day 13- Plans/dreams/goals you have

2011-07-30T10:22:00.000+08:00

My plans varies to circumstances. But there's always one thing that i wanted to do all my life which is to

TRAVEL

I have always been jealous to anyone who have been travelling especially those who went outside of Malaysia. I wanted to see other places in other country and meet different people. Therefore, to travel, i need to:

1. Graduate with flying colours and take Master.

2. Work with a company that offers me enough money to support myself, my family and still have money to travel.

and one of my dream that i really wish come true is to:

Get married.

Ok, i'm embarrassed now. Till then.

Day 12- 10 things you may state about your boyfriends

2011-07-29T10:56:00.000+08:00

Boyfriends???? I only have one boyfriend. Unless you are talking about my friend who is a boy, that would be a different story. But, for now i will only talk about my very special boyfriend since i already talk about my boyfriends in my previous post.

He made a card for me=)

Carldrexjarroppraj Jackson ( This is his real name)

His schoolmate call him Kurik.

He is a family man.

Likes kids.

Studying in ICATS.

HE LOVES ME

He is very cute.

He likes fishing but he don't eat fish.

He likes playing DOTA.

But when he is with me, he will spend all his time with me.=)

Wow, this is actually hard. I should know more about him.

* i am a bad girlfriend*

Zee Matanawee Keenan

2011-07-28T15:00:00.001+08:00

* Pictures taken from Google Image*

Oh my. He is so damn cute. Very handsome. Extremely handsome. Let's review his profile.

　Thai Name: มั ฑ ณา วี คี แน น

　　Real Name: Marcee Matanawee Keenan　

　　Age: 23 years old

　　Date of birth: October 27, 1988 both the Buddhist calendar October 27, 2531

　　Constellation: Scorpio

　　Height: 165cm

　　Weight: 50 ~ 55kg

　　Origin: China, Thailand, Indonesia mixed ( But some say he has United Kingdom blood)

　　Work: Model and singer

But what makes him worthy of being in my blog?

He is a freaking FEMALE!!!!!!!

Usually i can distinguished if it is a woman or tomboy because some part of the female faces is recognizable but this ~~guy~~ girl, looks exactly like a guy. Very very extremely handsome.

Look at ~~her~~ him, he is so hot. *Drooling*

Oh ya, this is ~~her~~ his music video. Enjoy.

* I wish ~~she~~ he married Nong Poy, at least they can have kids*

Edited on 1501

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

2011-07-28T08:59:00.000+08:00

Another picture of me and my friends? Ok, then..

Me and Collin

Jess and Me.

Both picture taken from my friend, Jessica Lee. We were friends since form 3. Jess and I were the new student in the school and Collin was the class representative. The weirdest thing is, even though i am the new student at that time, i was elected Asst. Class Rep. Jess came later to the school and since we were kinda the alien of the class, we bonded fast. Amazing thing is the three of us met again in UNIMAS. Why i said met again? I move to Sabah when i was Form 4, Jess went to Matriculation after SPM and Collin stay in the same school until Form 6. Now, whenever we met, there is not a time that Collin, Jess and I are not arguing. Collin will always lose because Jess and I will always team up to attack him. I miss us.=)

Picture taken from Nizz. Nizz, me and Sean.

We took this when we were doing our Research Method assignment in Kapit. The focus is on Sean. (Sorry Nizz) We had a misunderstanding before which makes me doubtful about our friendship. But i ignore the problem and kept being his friend because i believe that the truth will be reveal. Though the truth is still far from my reach, i believe that he is honest and sincere and he is trying his best to make himself strong through all the hardship that he had been put on. If someday i know what causes the misunderstanding and he is at fault, i will still be his friend because what matters is what he is now and not what he was in the past. =)

Mei feng, me and Ah wen.

My most controversial photo. Focus on Ah wen. Ah wen is also one of my closest friend in UNIMAS apart from Sean. And the misunderstanding case that Sean and I had, Ah wen is also one of the affected party. Anyway, why i said most controversial photo? Just look at how we pose. This picture had made people think that Ah Wen and I were lovers. Wahahaha..anyway, we look hot in this photo. Awwwwwuuuu!

If i die young..

2011-07-27T20:07:00.000+08:00

This song hits me at " Funny, when you're dead how people start listening" and yeah, it was very true.
Just like the case of the late Amy Winehouse. When she died, everybody start searching for her song on Youtube until her song became the top views video of the week.

Anyway, enjoy the song.

THE BAND PERRY

"If I Die Young"

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've
Never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a
Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

2011-07-27T11:56:00.001+08:00

Songs i listen to when i am:

Happy: All kind of songs doesn't matter what genre because when you are happy, all songs are beautiful.=)

Sad: Broken-hearted song, emotional song that have very emotional lyrics and make me cry more OR Club Song! To make me shake my head uncontrollably ( and heartache).

Bored: At this period of time, any song could entertain anyone who is extremely bored. As long as they are music.

Hyped: R&B, Hip-hop, Dance, Club, Pop..any catchy song that makes me wanna dance.

Mad: Linkin Park Songs. Their old song especially. After hearing that song, i will rose up with a new attitude of " I don't freaking care of anything now. Hit me. I'm strong." or " Do not interrupt or i'll explode right at your face."

But, i seldom get mad because right after i'm feeling mad, i'll cry and become sad. =p

Nong Poy

2011-07-26T14:56:00.000+08:00

Isn't she beautiful? I simply love her face.
Little did i know that she is actually born as a HE. Yes my friends, she is a transgender.
I know a lot of transgender actually did a plastic surgery on their faces to make them look pretty. But Nong Poy didnt. That is her natural face. This is exactly how she looks like when she was a BOY.
Oh my, she looks prettier than a real woman..I wish i look like her.:p

To know more about her, feel free to google search her..haha..:p

* I still can't believe that she is a man once upon a time ago*

Teach for Malaysia

2011-07-26T13:09:00.001+08:00

I was called up by Teach for Malaysia just now. It gave my goosebumps. No, they are not scary but i'm not really good at interviews. (Can it call it an interview?) Plus it was so sudden that i've became speechless.

I applied for this program out of curiosity and also because i am attracted to what they are offering and what i can do after the program. I'm not sure if this can be call as a volunteer program because they will give a scholarship in joining the program. But helping others to achieve better is what i have always wanted to do and Teach for Malaysia offers that.

Well, at first they asked me if i needed help in the forms and everything. But after some questions, i found out that i am not eligible to enter. I need to be at least graduating this November.

Anyway, this is a very interesting program. If you think you are eligible to enter and have what it takes to be an ambassador, join now! http://www.teachformalaysia.org/

As for me, i might re-apply next year or become their campus representative.=)

Oh ya..i hope they extend this to Sabah and Sarawak. (Edited on 1318)

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

2011-07-26T09:01:00.000+08:00

Wow..its the 9th day already..
Hmm..something that i am proud about in the past few days?
I'm not sure..all i've been doing this few days is sit around at home.

Hmm..hmm..hmm..it will probably be:
1. My tummy...its getting smaller..yeay..thanks to the slimming lotion that i bought. I just hope i can stay out of drinking beer because that is one of the reason why my tummy is so big.

2. I've cooked a lot of new dish this few days and it makes my siblings happy.

3. I'm proud that now i am more aware of what i use on myself. Promise myself that i wont use so much chemical to myself.

4. Learn a natural way of repelling ants. Yeah!

5. Learning what to do when the car key is stuck in the ignition.

That's all folks.

What is your race/ ethnicity?

2011-07-25T12:19:00.000+08:00

I remember my friend saying this. " I wish i was born as a "BUMIPUTERA" instead of a Chinese. Bumiputra is a collection of native people in Sabah and Sarawak in Malaysia.

As proud am i to hear that, it does makes me think. So what if you are a Bumiputera, Chinese or Malay? What differences do we have except for our cultural differences? Skin colour? Hair colour? Language? We are still human, right? We need to eat, sleep and shit, right?

Sometimes i wish there is no such thing as Race/ Ethnicity. For me, Race/Ethnicity is a label. A label that allows us to have prejudices towards other people that comes from other races.

For example, in Malaysia, people have always associated Malay with laziness (no offence my Malay friends), try counting how many people from your own race that is not lazy. How many people who acted like sloth that is not Malay? I have friends that is a Chinese who is worst than a sloth. I have a lot of friends from different types of background and through my observation, we really can't label someone for his/her race. Some acted way different from our perspective.

And having this Race attached to us makes us lose a lot chances. For example, you love somebody so much, but because of his/her race, we just put away our feelings. It also goes to finding a job.I have always come across job vacancy that was written fully in Chinese or some even dare putting

Workers Needed: Chinese Only.

It makes me think, isn't those who is not Chinese incapable of doing the job? If it is about the language, i have a lot of non Chinese friends who went to Chinese school and they read and talk Chinese better than the Chinese themselves. So, instead of putting that, why don't they just put this.

Workers Needed: Preferable those who can speak Chinese.

At least by doing this, those who come from other races can at least have a shot in getting the job.

Having a race also makes us vulnerable. Vulnerable to discrimination and violence. Just look at what had happen in Israel and Pakistan. During Hitler time, the Germans and the Jews. Truth be told, they look exactly the same. But the discrimination that had been installed in our head and our refusal to see things from other point of view makes our discrimination turn into something even more dangerous. And all we have after that is death.

So, people..Please do not discriminate and love one another. Have some compassion and make the world a better place.

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

2011-07-25T07:34:00.000+08:00

Honestly, i have no goals for this month. It is because i am on study break and my parents didnt want me to work.
If i have to, it would probably be:
- A good caretaker
My mum is going to Kota Kinabalu for work purposes. So i have to take care of my siblings.

- A good sister
Control my temper and try educating my little sister to become a better person (might as well educate my brother)

- A good girlfriend
Try not turning into a monster when my boyfriend is busy playing computer games

- Hard-working??
No reason. This is a must to live.

-Blog more.
So, i wont go crazy of boredness.

Ok, thats all folks.

A true lover

2011-07-24T22:24:00.002+08:00

A true lover is someone who will be there for us in whatever condition, through bad and good times and also in sickness and in health.
I am sure pretty much all of us believe that there is no such thing as a true lover.
No man or woman will sacrifice their own freedom, integrity and pride just for someone else based on love.
Most of us believe that love doesn't exist with love alone.

But this man, Chris Medina has prove to us (well, probably only me) that a true lover does exist.
Let the man himself tells us his story.

I've watched this few times and still it makes me cry. It is so beautiful and i can't help but wish that his fiance will recover soon.

Now he has come out with a single entitled "What Are Words"

And through his lyrics and few snippets of his moment of recording the song, it is clear that he sang this especially for his lover.

Here is the lyrics.

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you’ll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don’t mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they’re only for good times
Then they don’t
When it’s love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we’re gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I’m meant to be where I am
And I’m gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight

And I’m gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I’ll be there
And I’m gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I’m forever keeping my angel close

I am happy that he is able to achieve his dreams and at the same time helps his fiance. But i just hope that his popularity doesn't go through his head.

* Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous,
Love is never boastful or conceited,
It is never rude or selfish,
It does not take offence, it is not resentful- A Walk To Remember*

Day 07- A few things you crave for a lot

2011-07-24T09:59:00.000+08:00

I always have cravings especially when my period is coming. So here is the list of things that i crave.

Mee Kampua!

You can only find this is Sibu. It can be found in Kuching but the taste is just not the same.

New York New York Restaurant!

I miss this place so much. I longed to eat here. The food and drinks here are superb. Bring me there anyone?

There are a long list of things that i want to eat but lets just stop here.=)

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

2011-07-23T11:00:00.000+08:00

Hmm...hmm..hmm...i don't have any favorite super heroes. I grew up watching various super heroes anime and i dont have any that i really love because i love them all.

I remember watching this when i was in my kindergarten years. Masked Rider!

Dragon Ball! <3 Gotta catch 'em all!

I wonder if he is consider a super hero. Anyway, he is so damn cool. Detective Conan!

New Fun Discovery

2011-07-22T20:03:00.000+08:00

I just discover something very cool, very fun. Its the NEXT button on the top of your blog. I've been blogging for almost 3 years now and i feel that it is sad that i just knew about that button.

So, what does the NEXT button do?
It leads you to other people's blog.

For me, it is cool because i can fill up my time reading other people's blog. ( I feel like i'm a stalker). I followed some of the blogs too because i think that their life experience can be beneficial to me. And also because the pictures that they posted look very interesting. DIY blogs also capture my attention.

Anyway, to those who i followed, your blog is awesome.=)

Day 05- What I would find in your bag

2011-07-22T10:40:00.000+08:00

Bag? Hmm..what kind of bag? I do own a handbag but the zippers are broken. And my handbags are being turn into a travel bag since im lazy to buy a new bag for travelling.

Here is what's in my bag. (Since im not going anywhere, there is no handphones and purse in my bag)
1. Pendrive
2. Earphone
3. Another earphone
4. Lots of keychains
5.Hair clips
6. A necklace with star locket.
7. Some coins.
8. Several pictures of my boyfriend and i.
9. Exam result slip
10. An empty box of chewing gum
11. A prayer book.
12. Student id card
13. A medal
14. Church pamphlet
15. An empty box of sweets.
16. Pencils
17. Ferry tickets
18. Ribbons
19. Eyebrow brush
20. 2 boxes of my namecard from my previous workplace
21. An empty box of hair conditioner
22. A packet of tissue
23. A comb
24. Cloth pegs
25. Sharpener
26. Sweets
27. Padlocks
28. A razor
29. Wow, a handphone.
30. Handphone battery.
31. Another necklace with butterfly pendant
32. Nail clipper
33. Lipsticks
34. Mascara
35. A bangle
36. Fake eyelashes (Not mine)
37. Hair brushes
38. Old movie tickets.
39. A pen
40. A handphone pouch
41. Eyelid brush
42. Compact powder
43. Eye makeup
44. A rosary
45. A padlock

Fuh, exactly 45 things in my bag. Which means my bag is spacious. It also means that i need to clean my bags. There is a lot of junk. Hehe..what do you have in your bag? Can you defeat my messiness?

Rebecca Black.

2011-07-22T10:13:00.000+08:00

I'm not a fan of hers until she proves to me that her voice is worthy enough for me to actually sit down, listen to her and enjoy her song. I'm an easy person to please but i dont know why she cant. Put aside all the haters comment on Youtube and still her song Friday really made a bad first impression.

She came out with a song My Moment and she sounded OK but i still think that she is not worth listening to. I don't love her but it doesn't mean that i hate her. I do think that she is pretty and what she did with Katy Perry-Last Friday Night was awesome. She has a natural talent in acting although in her own Friday mv, her acting skills is questionable.

Anyways, i'm writing because of the supposedly no auto-tune mv on Rebecca's new song. Although it is funny, it is also fake. And i do think that people should just leave her alone. She is trying hard, give her some credits for trying. Plus, she is still a kid. She is just trying to find the right path for her to follow. So, let her do some experiment with her own life.

Ok, enough flattering her. This is her no auto-tune song.

Oranges!

2011-07-21T12:50:00.001+08:00

I like orange. Both the fruit and The Annoying Orange.

The fruit gives you Vitamin C which can help shield your body from various disease attacks. It also promotes healthy teeth and gums. Vitamin C is also good for your skin as it helps slow down the aging process.

And The Annoying Orange, simply for being annoying and funny.=p

Back to the fruit, what did you do after eating the fruit? Throw the peel, right? But do you know that you can do a lot of things with an orange peel? Since i've been into organic stuff lately, i've been googling about what to do with fruit peels. And it seems that orange peels are the most versatile peels of all.

1. Orange Chicken

This recipe is kinda like Lemon Chicken. Just that instead of using Lemon, we use Orange. You can search for the recipe in Google or any search engines you are using now. There are tons of it. I've tried this and due to corn starch not available in my kitchen, instead of doing gravy, i turn it into soup. It tasted OK but i know it would taste better if i stick to the original recipe. One advice tho, when adding the sugar, you should put it 1/3 or half of what the recipe told you first because it might end up being too sweet for your comfort.

2. Ants Repellent.

I never knew ants hate orange peels because as far as i know, it will be the first to swarm the orange peel. But from my research, orange peels puree are great for stopping the ant from crossing the place that you dont want them to. So, i tried and it works! Again, i did a little bit of improvisation due to lack of ingredients. I chopped the orange peels very thinly and rinse it with water. Then, put the orange peel whenever i want. And walla, no more ants when i woke up the next morning.=)

So, fellow readers, think twice before throwing the leftovers of your food into the dustbin. It might help you with something else.=)

Day 04- A picture of your boyfriend and tell how you two met

2011-07-21T10:56:00.000+08:00

I like this! I like this! Where's the like button. Ngehehe.. Dont mind me. I'm a sucker for love.=)

The first time we met is in a friend of ours house. Our friend and us were planning for a trip to Santubong for the Chinese New Year holiday 2010. I was already in the house and when he came, Sheila asked me to join her to welcome him and another friend. His reaction: Indifferent.
The second day we were at the house, it was Valentine's day. I hug everyone including him and wish them Happy Valentine. His reaction: Again, indifferent. My reaction: "OMG, a pretty girl just hugged you and you just said ermm..? What a snob!" Then we went to the trip and MAGIC happens.=)
Never knew that he is the one that i would love, felt helpless without and the one i rely on everything.

The first ever picture together.=)

We became close friend instantly.

And now lovers.

We like to take silly pictures.

He is sweet. He even let me paint his fingernail to match mine.

Pictures taken at Waterfront Kuching.

Our first anniversary pictures! Credits to Malex Abdullah Rashid

I have tons of pictures together but i'm afraid that it will make you feel sick and i dont want to jinx my relationship. Next in the list, what will i find in my bag. This would be hard.

Day 03- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

2011-07-20T10:18:00.000+08:00

Last year picture, taken on 7 July 2010

Pictures of me now.

Similarities: Same red bra..wahahaha..:p

Differences:

1. New haircut

2. I'm using make up on the current picture.

3. Fatter.

4. The former picture was taken in my dorm room while the current picture was taken in my home.

So, which one do you prefer?:p

Day 02- A picture of you and your friends

2011-07-19T11:22:00.000+08:00

A picture of me and my friends? My background is already full of my friends and i. Hehe..But just for the fun of it..here it is.

This is the mamais. From left Gynn, Me, Sandee, Sae, Waaf and Vera. My craziest friends.Miss them..:(

Pose for the camera.

We like taking pictures.=p

Ngee!!

My supposedly lesbian partner, Cheryl.=p

My UNIMAS friends. Taken during Mei Fengs birthday.

From left: Ah ying, Chia2, Evie, Grace, Kulan, Seamus, Cheryl, Mei Feng, ME, Ricky, Darrel and last but not least Ah wen aka Crabby wen @Clubbing wen..wahahaha.

This is what i call unity. 1M. My friends consists of chinese, bidayuh, kejaman, kenyah, lunbawang, kadazan (that's me), iban (also me.:p), and siamese.

Look at our teeth. Pearlie White!

The girls.

My trusted companion and apparently one of the most search post in my blog, Oth'na Matri.

Anf of course, my boyfriend.

Review on the stuff i use.

2011-07-18T16:02:00.009+08:00

So i bought some lotion and facial cleanser this few months when i received my salary. I am not a girly girl so this is kinda a big deal to me. To be putting on some mushy cream on my body and face regularly is a little bit alien to me.

1. Ellgy H20 ARR Lotion

The label said its ideal for eczema-prone skin. My skin is sensitive so i thought this lotion is good. Plus its from a trusted company and the pH level is 5.5. So i applied it throughout my body. Guess what? It makes my whole body itch and i found some new rashes on my body. Huhu..it costs me RM38.50 and i've used it less than 1 week. To any sensitive skin holder and eczema prone peeps, i DO NOT recommend you to use it.

2. Vaseline Total Moisture Nourishing

This lotion contains Vitamin E, Soy, Oat. I bought this because it was cheap and one of my friend is using Vaseline and the turnout is good. So, i tried it and i love it. It is sweet smelling and it is not too thick. It doesnt makes me wanna scratch my body and there is no weird rashes coming out of my skin. In fact, out of curiosity, i applied this lotion on my itch and the itch subsides in a matter of minutes. Amazing, right? I bought this for RM2.80 in Guardian. Too bad its finished now since i only bought the 120ml type. Anyways, Vaseline Total Moisture Nourishing is Cheap and reliable!

3. Guardian Sherbetz Yogurt Body Lotion Pomegranate

*sorry for the bad editting. I am lazy*

Actually i have this lotion since last year. I have two bottles of this lotion to be exact but i rarely use it. Only now i give a serious consideration on using it. I bought these two bottles of lotion for RM6.80 if im not mistaken and it was on sale. From the name of the brand itself, one can tell that i bought this from Guardian.

I started back using this lotion last month and i stop for a while due to my beautician friend saying that anything from Guardian is not that good. But when i was using it i didnt have any problems. So i am on it again. Just like Vaseline, it does soothes your itch and it gives you extra moisture. It smells like ice-cream and sometimes i have this crazy thought about eating some of the lotion. Haha.. What i dont like about this lotion that it is a little bit thick when you applied it on your skin and the lotion doesnt last very long on your skin. So reapplying is needed when necessary. And because it smells like food, sometimes some weird insect will linger around me and it is annoying. But still good for those who have sensitive skin.

4. St. Ives Apricot Cleanser

Ok, this is the only thing that is not lotion. This is a facial cleanser. I normally dont wash my face with facial cleanser because my face have little facial problems. So i just wash my face with water. But as i grow old, i am a little bit annoyed with my blackheads and blemishes. Thanks to my boyfriend who have an obsession of removing my blackheads using pin or squeezing them out. So, instead of the scary and painful moments with my boyfriend, i bought myself a facial scrub. This is consider cheap to me because it only costs me RM16.80. And the tube is quite big.

What i like about this: My blackheads and blemishes are almost gone and i've just started using it. This is only the third week and my face has already show good result. Another thing that i like about this is because it uses only natural ingredients. No chemical whatsoever. Which i think is great. Chemicals, though sometimes are beneficial for us, they do have a long list of bad side affects. I for sure, dont want to have any of the bad side affects.

What i dont like about this: At first usage, i dont like the smell. I have to hold my breath to use it because im not use to it. But after a few time using it, i've come to like the smell.

After using some of the products, i've now put my trust on St. Ives, Vaseline and Guardian products. I probably will put more money on St. Ives and Vaseline because i've seen them work wonders. I'm also looking into The Body Shop products now because just like St.Ives, they too use natural ingredients in their products. But before using them, i will do a price comparison first because The Body Shop can makes my purse cry if i were to buy top to toe products.hehe..

Anyway, hope my post will help you to find the suitable lotion and facial cleanser for your skin.=)

Day 1 ( A picture of me)

2011-07-18T10:28:00.004+08:00

A recent picture of me? Here it is!

There's a whole bunch of me. Ok, 10 interesting facts.

1. I have two Christian names. One for Baptism, Audrey and another one for Confirmation, Aurora. Audrey Aurora=)

2. I like to dance even though im not so good at dancing.

3. I like to sing even though im not good at it.

4. Even though i like to smile and laugh, i'm very emotional.

5. I am half Iban and half Kadazan.

6. I always move around = i dont have fix home address.

7. I am short.

8. I am in love.=)

9. I love cats even though im allergic to them.

10. I love outdoors.

30 Days of Challenge ( Courtesy of Sherer Mac Alister)

2011-07-17T20:51:00.003+08:00

I am bored and i need a distraction. That's why i wanna do this 30 days of challenge. At least it will keep me entertain for a while. I saw a lot of my friends did this and i didnt bother because i know i wont complete it. But now i am sure i will. My fellow bloggers, feel free to take this challenge as well.=)

This is the challenge.

30 days of challenges.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 10 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- A picture of you and your friends
Day 03- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 04- A picture of your boyfriend and tell how you two met
Day 05- What I would find in your bag
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A few things you crave for a lot
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- 10 things you may state about your boyfriends
Day 13- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 14- A picture of you and your family/loved one
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another pictures of yourself that you think is interesting
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30- Who are you?

Why play formspring?

2011-07-15T17:47:00.001+08:00

Why play formspring?

Answer here

Transformers 3

2011-07-12T22:29:00.005+08:00

First of all, thanks to Nizzy Nizz for making me feel like blogging about this.hehe..=p

Yes, Transformers was great and I enjoyed every single moment of the movie. But a slight dissatisfaction towards the movie. And no its not about not having Megan Fox in the movie although the new actress need a little bit of fire in her acting. But overall, she is an OK actress. A little bit of experience and she'll be great.

Ok..what disappoint me?

1. I thought this movie is generally for kids. Since they sold a lot of transformers action figures and the movie originally came from a cartoon. So why the showing of buttocks in the early of the scene and the girl on top of the guy?

I am an open-minded kind of person but when it comes to kids, i wouldnt want them to associate their favourite movie that was suppose to be all action to sex.I would like to hear them to say " Did you watch Transformers? Optimus Prime was great. He still can smash the Decepticon with only one hand!" instead of " Have you watch Transformers? Her ass was awesome. I wish she was on top of me."

Kids being kids..they are very curious and they have better memories than us adults..and then being innocent they will imitate the action and justifying their action by saying, " The adults were doing this so it must be ok."

I was planning to bring my young siblings to watch Transformers and they were very excited upon hearing that. They even behaved for a few days just so that they can watch that movie. Telling them that they cant was hard. You can see hopes were crushed just like that in their eyes. And of course the repetitive WHY question.

But of course, i'll let them watch it with a little bit of deleted scene.

Coming home.

2011-07-12T20:08:00.003+08:00

Here i am in Labuan. I was so sure that i will not go here during my semester break because i thought that i will be happily working, making approximately RM800 per month that i will use to buy all of the things i have in my short term wish list.

But life has other plans for me.

I have several difficulties in my way and i cant find the best solution to deal with it. It makes me feel tense all the time. I am tired physically and mentally.

So, i run away to Labuan. My mum is here with my siblings. Plus, i kinda miss my little brother and i know that he misses me too.

Labuan is not a suitable place for me. My skin is very sensitive to heat and even if i bathe regularly, it doesnt help. The water here in my place is not cold at all. Sometimes its hot. And Labuan is not a cold place. Its an island. So practically, i live near the beach. And the mall, (sigh). Well, i live in big cities (Kota Kinabalu and Kuching) and im used to having choices. Here, i dont get that much choices and i am a little bit picky eventhough i am not the most stylish girl you've met. But the greatest thing here are the chocolates and alcohol drinks. Labuan is a tax free country so i can get these things in a very cheap price.

But even so, my heart is at ease. I felt great. Relax. With the companionship of my siblings and my mum. My mum especially. Even tho we rarely talk because she is busy at work and when she come home, she'll be in front of her lappy, she makes me feel comfortable whenever she smile. Guess i do miss her a lot. I just dont realise it.

I am an outgoing person but right now, i just really wanna stay home. 1st, im not familiar with this place 2nd, i dont have any friends here. So, i will be a t home 24-7 onlining.

Till then.

*Home is where your heart is*

Blog Under Maintenance

2011-07-12T13:52:00.002+08:00

If..and only if you are an active follower of my blog..you will see that i've been changing my background for several hours now. I havent found any blog skin that really catch my attention but so far my own picture does the trick..hehe..will try assembling much proper and greater picture later or create my own design but for now..this is it..=)

These are some of the pictures of people that matters to me..

Back haunting my blog.

2011-07-11T20:22:00.002+08:00

Gosh..i pity my blog.I literally saw spider cobwebs on my blog.Im not going to say..OMG, it's been awhile since i blog because i've done that one too many times..but now since i will be home 24-7 for 2 months..i think i need my blog back just to write down all of the things that i wanted to blog but never because i couldnt find the time or just plain lazy. Till then. Toodles.

The macho male

2011-05-15T19:20:00.004+08:00

As i said before, i'll be living with my dad, brother and my cousin. And they are all male. I knew that the house will be messy as we are going to move. (AGAIN!) But i didnt thought it will be that messy. I am not a neat girl either so when i said that the house is messy, it is REALLY REALLY messy.

That is the problem with macho man. My dad and brother are the macho man and traditional type of male. What i meant by that is they refused to clean or cook in the presence of a girl/woman or they will not clean unless they need to use the stuff. Hence the messy house.

Looks like i have to clean the house full power. I cant operate in this kind of situation.

*cant wait to work*

The weather is extremely hot.

2011-05-11T18:16:00.003+08:00

For those who like tanned skin, you are most welcome to come to Malaysia because i am pretty sure every state in Malaysia is facing dry season. If you come from places that are experiencing winter right now, please oh please switch places with me. It is extremely hot this month and i feel like taking a cold bath every single hour.

If only this is a liberal country, i would have just go naked.

Exam Over

2011-05-06T04:20:00.002+08:00

What can i say? I should be happy, shouldnt i? But why am i not?

Hmm..apart from my very sad, very devastating, pitiful answer that i wrote on my last paper, there are some other things that brings me down as well.

It's the end of 2nd year..

Which means that the next semester, i will be in my 3rd year which also my last year in UNIMAS.

Which also means that i will be apart from all my friends that i met here.

Being able to study in a University is like a dream to me. I never thought that i would even have the chance to further my study. I do have the intention to enter University but i never thought that i would really be in one. I don't consider myself smart and i am lazy. I am grateful to be able to study here. Although life is tough and it is a struggle every single day, i enjoyed living a hectic life. Stepping into 3rd year will be harder than this but i'll manage. And i'll be able to stop reading for test soon. But even with that thought, i am not psyche up. Leaving here=leaving freedom. But, i don't want to extend the period of time here, i want to be able to graduate with the rest of my friends.

Going home...

Which leads us to the second reason why i am not happy. I don't feel like going home. Even now i havent buy my flight ticket which is not my fault. I dont have the money to buy the tickets, my parents do and i've informed them about my last paper and even tell them when there are cheap air ticket. But they didnt bought it for me and that had cause my will to go back home deteriorate. Another reason to it is i dont know where my actual home is. My mum and younger siblings are in Labuan and my father and brother are in Papar. No, my parents are not separated, they are in different places because of work. But still, with uncompleted family members, a house is not a home for me.

And i dont like staying in either place. I have fallen in love with the vibrant city of Kota Kinabalu that i want to be near it. Part of the reason is because everyone that i know are in KK. In Papar, i am a nobody. I wanted to live with my aunt but my dad didnt want me to which makes me feel even sadder. I dont know. I just dont feel like living with my actual family now. It is just too depressing. Another reason is i want to work in KK. If i live with my dad, i will have to work under him and i dont like it. I feel like saying, this is my life, let me do what i want. There will be a time i will erupt. It is just a matter of time.

April the start of exam month.

2011-05-04T15:22:00.004+08:00

April is a stressful month for my friends and I. This is the month where people start feeling stressed out and start studying. A month of repentance in academic life, from the way i see it. Anyway, i've finished 5 papers this two weeks. Tomorrow will be my last paper. The most crucial and deadliest paper, Research Method. I hope i can do my best in this paper.

Summary of my exam.

28 April

French language- spend the whole week studying French, worrying it will be hard. But thank God, it is not that hard and i leave the exam hall early.

English for self expression- I did not study for this exam. Just read couple of the short story given and im off to the exam hall. Luckily, it was not that hard either and i am the first one leaving the exam hall.

29 April

Public speaking- Read the whole book of Public speaking. Went to exam and luck is on my side, the questions is not that hard either. I leave the exam hall on time because when i was about to submit my paper, the time limit for student to leave the exam hall had just finished.

Today (4 May)

Then there were Social Inquiry- You make my soul cry. I understand the question but i couldnt figure out the right way to answer it. In the end, i just write what i know and leave because i cant stand the pressure of sitting there not knowing what to write.

On the same day, i had Public Relations paper. Honestly, i didnt study for this subject. It is not because the subject is easy, it is just that i have been focusing so much on Social Inquiry. I just browse through the notes that my lecturer gave to me. Thank God again the question is not so hard. I manage to answer it less than an hour and i leave the hall early.

Conclusion, i will always leave the hall early whether or not the course is an easy course or a hard one. Wahaha...one more paper to go and it is H-O-L-I-D-A-Y!

Please respect us and put yourself in our shoes.

2011-04-16T09:05:00.004+08:00

This post might be a little bit controversial and sensitive. Therefore before i write, i wanna apologize to my Muslim friend. Whatever i write has nothing to do with all of you nor your religion, this post is specifically to those who are ignorant and inconsiderate. Again, I am so sorry if any of my words offended you.

Lately there are a lot of news mentioning about the bible. Holy Bible written in Malay were previously banned here. They are still banned but those in Sabah and Sarawak are lucky enough to have that copy.

I think the issue has been politicize because Sarawak is having its state election and the people have to vote today(April 16 2011, Saturday). Last two weeks ( i think) there is a news on a political leader saying that the Christian purposely raised this issue because if the governing political party didn't fulfill their request, they will not vote for the party. And i quote " Please do not challenge the Malays." The person also added that the Christians in Malaysia do not need Malay version of Holy Bible and they could have printed the Holy Bible in their native language.

Second news about this issue is our prime minister promised that the bible will never be impounded again. And the latest news, dated on 15 April 2011, a group of Muslim were protesting with the reason that the Christians had challenge the sovereignty of Islam.

And i quote again,

“Malaysia was tanah melayu, tanah Islam. But when British colonialists came to our land, they also brought Christianity with them.

“We are being taken over by colonialists through their demands once again. We must unite and not compromise with those that insult our religion. We are willing to die for Islam and our country!” he said."

And i say,

We need Malay version Holy Bible because most of us do not understand our own native language. For example me, I am a mix blood child. My father is an Iban and my mother is a Kadazan. A mixture of the major natives of Sarawak and also Sabah. In my home, i do not speak Iban nor I speak Kadazan. In my home, we also did not speak English even though my father teaches English language. So, what language do i speak in my house? Malay. And why is that, because my father can't speak my mother's native language and vice versa. So to communicate, they have to talk in Malay. And when they have children, they just continue on talking Malay to each other and to us. Basically, I can't speak Iban nor Kadazan. I only understand Malay. (Of course, the situation change now because in school i was taught to speak and write in English.) And there are a lot of Christians in Malaysia who do not speak their own native language.

Malay language however, is taught in every school. National, chinese, tamil, government or private schools all are required to teach and use Malay language as their major medium of communication. That is why there are mass conducted in Malay. You asked what is the relevance of printing Holy bible in Malay? This is my answer.

We are not trying to challenge the Malay by doing that, we just need the bible in Malay.

Third news.

I've gone speechless. Why brought up such topic? To say that Christian is a new form colonialism in Malaysia? Come on, all religion comes from somewhere. Before islam came here, most of the people here were pagan and/or Hindu. The mubaligh-mubaligh who came to Melaka from Arab have good intention in spreading their knowledge. So does Christian bishops and priest. They have good intention towards the people. No preacher have bad intention in their mind except for the intention of spreading the good news. And none of the preacher forced the civilian to enter their religion, you have to remember that. If we were forced to be Christians and the Christians forced you to convert to their religion then that is considered as Colonialism. We just want the book to be translated in language that we understand. Is that so much to ask?

And tell me which part of translating Holy Bible in Malay is an oppose to Islam teaching? We did not and never has condemn other religion in the book. Feel free to read it.

Anyway, i have lost my idea to write. Again, i am sorry if this is offending.

Picture Of March Summary.

2011-04-03T11:57:00.004+08:00

I wanted to put some picture in my March Summary post but somehow i couldnt. So i create another post for it. Some of my picture for my anniversary, Santubong trip and pictures of my short hair. No picture for Kapit trip since my friends didnt upload it.

Our favourite picture.=)

Looking at each other's eyes.

Yeah! Happy Happy Joy Joy.

Fellow Seroja.

Taufiq and me posing for the camera.

My new short hair.

Yes, fellow bloggers. I am a cam-whore.:p

Committing Suicide.

2011-04-02T19:03:00.003+08:00

No..no..i wasnt going to commit suicide. As i said just now, it was one of my colleague. He was my classmates during Mr. Robert Raymer class, Creative Writing.

It was wednesday and as usual i was onlining, checking my Facebook. And my friend said someone committed suicide inside our campus by jumping from our famous "Jambatan Cinta" (Love Bridge). At first I ridiculed the news but as i was about to catch the bus to the west campus for kayak, my club member stopped me. He said our activity was cancelled due of that incident. Anyway, i found out that he was my former classmates. He load up some heavy rocks inside his bag and jumped from the bridge. I heard there was a person trying to save him but the person almost went down with him due to his heaviness (I guess) and now the person is having trauma. His body was found two hours after he jumped from the bridge.

It was sad tho. Because he was one of the top scorer in our campus and is a good guy. Nobody expected this. I read his blog yesterday and it seems like he just created one. There were only a few post there. But some of his post did mention about death and about committing suicide. He just broke up with his girlfriend, he was worried about his studies and there is someone out there always make him feel so down. Hurt his feelings to the bottom down. His problems all came at the same time and he couldnt cope with it. Although i am not his close friend, reading that makes me wish that i was there for him, listening to his problems.

Yes, i do think it was an unwise decision but that was his decision and we have to respect it. If he did it because of love and love alone, i would have straight away condemn him. But this is about his life. And sometimes, we have no rights talking about that unless we are in the person's shoes. Being depress is not a simple thing and not everybody knows how to switch off that feeling. So, if you ever feel depress, until the bottom down, TALK TO SOMEONE. Don't let you and yourself alone carry the weight on your shoulder and don't let you alone come up with the solution because your mind and heart are not in a stable condition. You might come up with a solution that might harm yourself and the people around you.

* A shining star that falls down, leaves a deep hole in our heart*

March Summary.

2011-04-02T16:28:00.006+08:00

Hi, Mr. Blog. Miss me? I'm so sorry for neglecting you. It is not because i have nothing to write. It is because i have no time. My schedule is jam-pack! March is a month full of laughter, sweat, tears, sadness and disappointment. Anyway, im going to blog about this briefly.

MARCH IS THE MONTH OF MY ANNIVERSARY. :) :) :) *Grin* Ngehehehe..
Finally we've made it to a year though i still feels like its as if we've just met yesterday. There are a lot of ups and downs but we make it through. How we celebrated it? Actually, we didnt plan to celebrate it because we can't meet each other. Our anniversary falls on weekdays. But suddenly, my friend, Spencer brought me out and when he knew that it was our anniversary, he just couldn't let me not spend it. So he fetch my boyfie. Then, i remember my friend offer. He wanted to take pictures of me and my boyfie. So, i called him and the rest is history.

Santubong Trip.

My college a.k.a my hostel organize a trip to Santubong. "SEROJA TAWAN SANTUBONG" which if translated to English is Seroja( which is the name of my hostel) Conquering Santubong. Sorry for my bad grammar. A climbing expedition. We didnt make it to the top though, because it was raining. It was really challenging. I almost fainted the first few hours of the trip but i kept it to myself. Everybody keep saying that i'm a tough one because i didnt even complaint or stop during the trip but boy, only i know what i feel inside.

Kapit trip.

Finally, i went back to my village after years. The last time i went there is when i was 8. And now i am 22. Imagine how long since i've been to Kapit. Kapit is a small town in Sarawak and the life condition there were quite simple. But i didnt really went to my village, it is farther than Kapit town. I went there for my research on the issue that Kapit people are more concern about.

Assignment!

I have a lot of assignment this March which has limited my time on other things,i.e meeting my boyfriend. We were already separated by the distance and now with little time in my hand, we were separated again. It has been 3 weeks since i last met him because of my pilling assignments and trips..sobs..sobs..
Anyway, talking about assignments, i have this 1 particularly stupid group member. He was the one who suggested us to go to Kapit to make a research ( not that i regret going there) and waste our ( Me, Sean and Nizz) money. It costs us nearly RM500 which i can use to go on a shopping bonanza since all my clothes now are worn out.

Why am i mad?
He didnt even do a single Freaking thing besides the introduction which i can do in an hour. And the three of us have to finish off 4 chapter without his help. We stayed up late because of this. NO. We didnt even sleep because we need to finish our assignment and him. What did he do? NOTHING! He did his literature review which, btw should have been done few days ago and the three of us had already finish doing. He followed us, not sleeping but he is not helping at all. All he did after he had finish doing his work is streaming youtube when we were struggling doing our work. We were damn stress! To top it of, me and nizz have one due assignment that was suppose to be submitted the same day. A 7 page assignment! So, yes. I have lost my sleep last wednesday because of him.Damn it! He is lucky he had a good group member. I almost eliminate his name in our work.

Suicide.

Last wednesday was a sad day for all of us. A well-known, top scorer of our campus committed suicide.
Although it is a BIG SIN to do that, i do hope and pray that God bless him no matter what. R.I.P.
I will blog about this on the next post.(Click here)
Cut my hair.

Yes! Finally, after few months of thinking, i cut my hair! It was as short as my hair before. Now all i have to worry about is facing my parents. They will go haywire if they know i have cut my hair short.

So, thats all folks. The summary of March.

Far East Movement - Rocketeer ft. Ryan Tedder

2011-04-02T16:26:00.002+08:00

This is one of the sweetest song ever. Nowadays, people just stop doing good music.
Thank god there's Far East Movement.

Here we go, come with me

There's a world out there that we should see

Take my hand, close your eyes

With you right here, I'm a rocketeer

Let's fly

Up, up here we go

Up, up here we go

Let's fly

Up, up here we go, go

Where we stop nobody knows, knows

Where we go we don't need roads, roads

Where we stop nobody knows, knows

To the stars if you really want it

Got, got a jetpack with your name on it

Above the clouds in the atmosphere, phere

Just say the words and we outta here, outta here

Hold my hand if you feeling scared, scared

We flying up, up outta here

Here we go, come with me

There's a world out there that we should see

Take my hand, close your eyes

With you right here, I'm a rocketeer,

Let's fly

Up, up here we go, go

Up, up here we go, go

Let's fly

Up, up here we go, go,

Where we stop nobody knows, knows

Baby, we can stay fly like a G6

Shop the streets of Tokyo, get you fly kicks

Girl you always on my mind, got my head up in the sky

And I'm never looking down feeling priceless, yeah

Where we at, only few have known

Go on the next level, Super Mario

I hope this works out, Cardio

Til' then let's fly, Geronimo

Here we go, come with me

There's a world out there that we should see

Take my hand, close your eyes

With you right here, I'm a rocketeer

Nah, I never been in space before

But I never seen a face like yours

You make me feel like I could touch the planets

You want the moon, girl watch me grab it

See I ain't never seen the stars this close

You got me struck by the way you glow

I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh

I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh

Here we go, come with me

There's a world out there that we should see

Take my hand, close your eyes

With you right here, I'm a rocketeer

Let's fly

Up, up here we go, go

Up, up here we go, go

Let's fly

Up, up here we go, go

Where we stop nobody knows, knows, knows

Break Up

2011-03-17T06:52:00.003+08:00

Yesterday i have a good chat with my friend about everything and i dont know why almost all of the conversation lead to talking about relationship. Some i started it, but some were brought up because it has link to relationship.

I just realized something about myself when i am in a relationship. I will hang on to someone even if we have broken up until i met someone worthy of my love but if i am the one dropping the bomb,the man will not have a u-turn with me. That is just me.

I've been through a lot of relationship and mostly, i was dumped. But from my experience also, after the break up, no matter who started it, my ex will ask for us to reconcile. It was tempting but since i'm already in a relationship with another man, i rather focus my feelings on that man rather than those who had taste my love. You have had your chance my boy.

Anyway, that is not what i want to talk about. What i want to talk about is how i will not return back to the one i've dump. Well, maybe i'm saying this now, but who knows what future brings to us. Maybe the one i'm dating now is THE ONE and after some time i realize what i did was wrong, MAYBE i'll reconsider going back even if i'm the one pulling the trigger. IF we ever break up. Yes, i have high hopes on this relationship. Building a relationship after another is hard.

Honestly but not proudly, i've dump two man. The first man was dumped because i didnt even love him. Never was. I do care about him but i cant love him. I try but i end up feeling disgusted. So, it was the right thing to do. He is a good man and i am wasting him. He deserve better woman than me.
The second man..hmm..i've been in a relationship with him for two years. He was kinda my first everything. I loved him so much and i would do anything for him. During our relationship, he has dumped me a couple of times. Some of it for his parents. Others are because he love someone or feel bored of our relationship. But when he wants to come back to me, realizing that he love me, i took him back.
But having dumped for one too many times, slowly my feelings for him fade away. Imagine a flower, full of petals, whenever he dumped me, a petal was plucked out. And he keep on plucking the petals until there were no more petals. That is how i feel.
And that is when i decided to end the relationship. It is better to let go of everything than to lie to myself and to him.

I thought he will understand since he left me a lot of time, but he didn't. He said he can't live without me, have he ever imagine how i felt when he dumped me? How i saw him everywhere and every day i was hoping he was with me? How i can't breath when i was crying in the middle of the night? How broken-hearted i felt? How useless i felt? Have he ever cared about my feelings?

No! He has been selfish all the time. He walks in and out of the relationship as he pleases, as he wanted, as he needed. Never ever has he think about how i felt. He threatened to commit suicide if i didn't come back to him. I advised him not to but he kept insisting. He even send me an mms of his bloody cut wrist. Until one stupid day, i had enough.

He did try to commit suicide but was saved. His brother message me, asking what had happen between us. Now, i don't care if he want to die. Let it be my sin then. But i cant lie to myself. I don't love him anymore. He hurt me so many times and i don't trust that he will keep me feeling content even if i accepted him back.

*He will always be a memory to me, unfortunately, a bad one.*

Don't Stay-Linkin Park

Plans for holiday

2011-03-07T21:19:00.004+08:00

This year, i will have four months of semester break. So i planned to fill my break with something useful. And set some goal to accomplish.

Goals:
1. To Work.
- Need work that offers at least RM800 per month.
- Work in KK.
- Ask for parents permission.
- To work in KK, live in cousin's place.

2. To buy external hard disc and camera
- That is why i need RM 800 per month kind of work.
- Hard disc for saving assignments, pictures, music and movie..hehe..
- Camera for basic photography course.

3. Cut my hair short.
- I love short hair better than long hair.
- I have damaged hair.
- Probably do some treatment and re-dye..:)

4. Buy new outfits and shoes.
- For 2 years, i never shop for pleasure.
- Almost all of my clothes are faded now.
- I have no formal shoes, no heels and my sandals are almost worn out.

5. Maybe reformat my laptop and change it to windows xp.
- My printer's driver is not compatible with Windows 7.

The rest of my salary will be used for my daily expenses in Kuching. And RM100 for my ASB account.
Hope i can accomplish all of this. May God bless my plan. Amen.

Updating this status..

6. Bible, rosary and holy water.
- I need to polish up my relationship with God. It is deteriorating. I know by doing this, devil will linger around me more. But will try hard to resist him.
- I want to read Bible. Its been long since i read a bible. I think its time.

I have great friends

2011-02-10T18:22:00.003+08:00

Last CNY, i made a request to my friends. I ask them to bring any delicacies from their hometown, mandarin oranges and angpows. I did that for fun. I assumed that they would just laugh to my request and accept my CNY greetings that i post on their Facebook's wall.

To my surprise, my friends really took me seriously. One of my friend gave me a container full of kuih lapis this morning. (Kuih lapis is Sarawakian traditional delicacies)And this evening, another friend of mine gave me mandarin oranges. Wow, they really took me seriously. One of my other chinese friends even asked me to lend me my container so that she can fill it with foods from KL. All of them are giving me foods..Wow.

I think having a thick face like me have the advantages. When it comes to food, i don't know how to be ashamed. One of the reason why is because i do need food now. Money deprived now. So free foods will be accepted gladly.

Well, they said ask and you will be given. I sure get what i want.

The kuih lapis and oranges. Yummy!

Valentine's Day

2011-02-10T02:30:00.005+08:00

No no..i am not going to talk about how i am going to celebrate my valentine's day nor do i wanted to condemn Valentine's Day. It is just that my friend posted something about the misconception that people have on Valentine's day.

The misconception:

1. Although associated with Christianity, Valentine's day is NOT a Christian celebration.

2. Even if they do, in Christianity, contrary to popular believe, we DO NOT have sex during the celebration. Sex before marriage is PROHIBITED in Christianity.

3. It is NEVER our tradition to do all of the above.

I am quite upset with some people who just say out their point of view out loud without confirming the real fact. They say ignorance is a bliss but this kind of ignorance can't be tolerated. More and more people will believe if they were not corrected.

My advice:

DO YOUR RESEARCH. CONFIRM THE FACT.

And this advice is also meant for all those news out there.

DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU READ OR HEAR BEFORE KNOWING THE REAL TRUTH!

Fuh...breath in, breath out. Now to the happy part.

Despite what i said just now, for those who wanted to celebrate V-day, go on. No harm. We are celebrating love and we should love one another more than hate each other. Unless it is a celebration of hate, then i would say otherwise.

This world needs more love because the people nowadays seems so heartless. Killing, human trafficking, abuse, fighting, kidnapping and all sort of stuff. Now, that kind of thing is worth condemning. Why this kind of things doesn't seem to bother those people? I know not why.

Anyway,

SPREAD THE LOVE, PEOPLE!!

There are 3 great things in this world. Love, Faith and Hope. The greatest one is LOVE.

So keep on loving.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

I just realize that i keep on repeating love. Oh, i'm so crazy in love. =)

French language

2011-02-08T19:06:00.002+08:00

As i said before, i am taking french this semester as my minor. Next week we'll have an assessment and i haven't really grasp the language yet...huhu..Anyway, i have a crazy idea during french class just now about what should i write for my blog. And i decided to write an introduction on myself in french and also how i pronounce each word.

Compared to my national language, which is Bahasa Malaysia or in English, the words are pronounce according to the spelling.

i.e

Ma + kan = Makan (Eat)

English

Sail + ing= Sailing

But in French, it is a bit challenging because you don't pronounce the words exactly according to the spelling. Ok, i think i've confuse all of you as i, myself are already confuse by my own statement.

Here goes..

Bonjour, comment allez-vu? Je m'appelle Amanda. J'ai vingt-te-un ans. Je suis Malaisienne. Je parle Malais, Anglais et un peu de Mandarine. J'habite à Kota Kinabalu en Malaisie. Je suis catholique. Je suis en couple. Je suis etudiante.

Mon père est professeur et ma mère est fonctionnaire.J'ai deux frères et une sœur. Mon grand frère est vingt cinq ans et mon petit frère est neuf ans. Ma sœur est quartorze ans. Merci beaucoup.

This is how i pronounce them.

Bonjur, comotallevu? Je mapel Amanda. Jai vang-te-a-nong. Je suis malaysien. Je parle malay, ongle et an pe de mandaran. Jabit a Kota Kinabalu ung Malaysie. Je suis katolik. Je suis ong kup. Je suis etudiont.

mon pier air profeser et ma mare air fongtionier. jai de frerk air a sirk. Mon grong frerk air vang san ong et mon petit frerk air nef ong. Ma sirk air katosong. Merci buku.

See, this is why i can't really grasp the language. Just look at how i spell my french pronounciation. Very different, right? But i will try my best to learn how to spell the pronounciation in the proper way.

By the way..this is the translation to what i've wrote in french.

Hello, how are you? My name is Amanda. I am 21 years old. I am a Malaysian. I speak Malay, English and a little bit of Mandarin. I live in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia. I am a catholic. I am in a relationship. I am a student.

My father is a teacher and my mother is a clerk. I have two brothers and one sister. My big brother is 25 years old and my little brother is 9 years old. My sister is 14 years old. Thank you very much.

When translated into english, i sound very lame. Like a 5 year old girl trying to introduce herself. But doesn't matter, soon i'll be able to talk french fluently..i hope..till then..

*never stop learning*

Bad Habits

2011-02-07T18:56:00.003+08:00

Bad habit = always judging quickly and like to look down on other people. I hate that i am always looking down at people. But i can't help it. The next time i look down on people, i will tell myself this.

the people that i look down upon.

Builder= without them, you won't have a house.

What i hate about them: Whenever you pass them, they will whistle at you, do the annoying "chut chut" and "peewit" sound.

High school couple= you were once in love when you are in high school too.

What i hate about them=too much PDA, at least change into normal outfit la..

High school drop-out= I'm still searching on what is their good side.

What i hate about them= acting so tough with their very highlighted brown hair and their arrogant attitude. And they are unemployed, living at their parents house.

Arrogant and rude people= they are an expressive people. They just want what they want.

What i hate about them=for being arrogant and rude.

People who look down on me= i will surprise you one day.

What i hate about them= they think they are superior than me..:p

Actually, there are a lot. I'll update soon about this...hehe..

Happy/Angry

2011-02-07T00:04:00.007+08:00

I just remembered something i wrote last time..i said something about not going to blog much about my relationship. But it seems like i'm doing it again.

It's not a bad thing but it's not a good thing either. It's not a good thing because i'm sharing much love and joy to other people. The bad thing is, people will get bored reading it. But that is not what i am worried about.

I am afraid of the memories. All those sweet memories when i am in a relationship. Last time when i was in a relationship with another boy, i blogged about every single date that we had. It was fun re-reading it while it last. When it's over, all i have is a hole in my heart every single time i read about it. It hurts to replay the memories over and over again. I do cherished the moment but since we ended badly, those memories made me look stupid for believing so much. Everybody told me that something is off about my ex, but i just ignored them. One thing about being in love is, they made you blind and when you fell into the darkest, deepest hole alone, only then you see.

I tried confining myself from writing about him too much because i am afraid. Afraid that if something happens to our relationship, i won't be able to move on because of the memories. I am preparing for the worst.

But,

At least i am talking about the happy things. About how certain things put a smile on my face. Not like some other people. Whenever they get into a fight, they tell the whole world. I'm not saying that you can't, but can you exclude names and the cursing words? For me, it shows how immature you are and it makes you look extremely stupid.

I am not saying that you shouldn't tell your problems. But do it in an appropriate way. Tell your problems to the world with idioms, quotes or do it sarcastically.Especially when you have problems with someone else. At least i won't be annoyed reading your post.You can tell them directly but please use appropriate language. You are angry because you have problems but when you curse, it is as if the whole world had offended you. Especially when you use curse word that have YOU at the back of the word.

Never tell who you are fighting with and/or curse. It is enough problem for you and the affected person. There is no need to drag other people in your misery.

i.e:

Saloma Aguilera!!

You are a b*tch. F*ck you. Go get a life.

@#$%^&*!!

The worst part is you tag the person.

And you have people asking you what happen. And you throw the dirt on the affected person and you asked for their support in tarnishing the affected person's name.

My question to you. What comes after that? What happen after you tarnished that person's life? You felt satisfied and then you go to hell for making the affected person miserable. The end.

*Love your neighbour as yourself*

*Keep you friends close, keep your enemies closer*

*War brings nothing to the world, only death and devastation*

Happy Feblesary

2011-02-04T16:53:00.010+08:00

1st February

This date means nothing to other people but its my 11th monthsary..another month to go before my bf and i are officially dating for a year. It does seem ridiculous to be celebrating such event but since we can't celebrate valentine's day on the exact date due to commitment with studies, we agreed to celebrate it on our 11th monthsary..:)

We celebrated it home style. That means we only did it at the comfort of a friend's house since we are not originally from Kuching. Before the date, we pre-ordered New York Cheese Cake from Everybread bakery. I was quite surprise because they didn't ask for deposit which is quite risky for me. One might just ordered and canceled it just like that. With deposit, one might think twice before canceling their order. Anyway, I cooked spaghetti +minced beef+hotdogs+Prego's cheese herbs for us. Im not so good in measuring so i overcooked the spaghetti. It was a lot of noodle for two person. But we managed to finished it tho. I have to compliment myself because it was quite tasty. If it wasn't, i wouldn't be able to stuff my stomach. We didn't give each other a present. Being able to spend time together is more than enough for us. But i will get him a present sooner or later. I'm just waiting for my financial condition to be stable again. Anyway, to those celebrating Valentine's day, Happy Valentine to all of you. May you be fill with joy, happiness and love always and in all ways. And to those not celebrating, being single is not bad. Enjoy the moment while it last. Once you have someone in your life, you need to make spaces for them for everything. I'm not complaining tho..:)

My phone camera's quality is not that good and this picture sure doesn't look appetizing but trust me, it taste better than how it look. Hehe..

This is the original cake. Actually we wanted to decorate the cake ourselves (we bought choki2 for decoration)since i didn't ask them to write anything on it. But when we gt this cake, the top of the cake was decorated with fruits.

We tried writing on the side of the cake but the choki2 wont stick. So i had a brilliant idea and stick chocolates on the side of the cake. I used Cadbury French Vanilla's choc.

Happy Feblesary!!! 11 MONTHS AND GOING...

Almost the end of January 2011

2011-01-28T11:22:00.005+08:00

It's almost the end of January and this is my first post for the year 2011. I'm not busy but since i don't have anything to write about, i don't think there's a point to write yet..hehe..During the end of December 2010, i was internet deprived. There's no connection in my house and i have to wait for my mum to come home from Labuan to be connected to the internet. She is the only one in my family who owns a broadband right now. And all i did was check my facebook.

New house
I moved AGAIN!!! haha..and it was far away from the vibrant city of Kota Kinabalu. Oh how i miss KK so much...huhu..i practically had no life in Papar. I havent made any new friends and I have no car. How i wish my car wasn't stolen. If not, i would have driven the car to any places that i wanted to go.

New semester
Hmm..i think this semester would be the less stressful semester ever. The only difficult subject im taking right now is Research Method and Social Inquiry. The less difficult would be Public Relation and French Language. The easiest but challenging class would be English for Self Expression and Public Speaking.

I have 3 classes that required me to talk as it accumulated 60% of the overall marks. And it would be ESE, French class and Public Speaking. French class and Public Speaking would be the class with no or little written assignment. Wipee!!!! I will have a lot of free time lazing around..haha..
But Research Method and Social Inquiry wouldn't be so kind to me. I have to come out with individual and group research proposal for RM and I have to really grasp the theories in Social Inquiry.
I'm still lazing around. My study engine haven't started yet. I will soon. Hopefully..ngehehehe...

Anyway,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL MY CHINESE FRIENDS AND TO THOSE CELEBRATING IT!!!!

GONG HE FATT CHOI!!

HAPPY RABBIT YEAR...=)

Rants

2010-11-25T17:02:00.002+08:00

I wanted to blog so badly..bt i dont know what to write. So many things happen and with each passing time writing about them now feels so old. Anyway, i just scribe the things in a touch-and-go basis.

Exam

Finally over. I felt like jumping when i finish answering my paper. And to my surprise, my ability to write nonsensely came back to me on the last day of exam..zzzz..anyway, it is helpful as i can write as much as i can..

Peer Pressure

I dont know how and why i am influenced by people who submitted their paper early when i havent completed mine. I hate it so much when there are people who submitted their paper earlier than me especially when it is almost 15 mins before the time ended. It makes me wanna submit my paper right there, right then. I will try my bet to write as fast as i could so that i can go out before the time.

Right arm

is aching so badly. I don't know why. It happens after i joined the water rafting competition. Maybe some of my muscle are injured. Hmm..

Baby's birthday

Was great. We spend time together in a lodge and then went for chinese food. And it was D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!!! We order 3 dishes which are stewed pork rib with champagne wine, chicken soup with bamboo shots and for vegetables, we chose kailan. Yunny! Especially the stewed pork. And our drinks were green tea. I wanted to eat fish dishes but since my baby dont like fish so i have to cancel my wish. It is his birthday, so i have to follow him. The meal is worth it. 3 dishes and the quantity of the food is a lot and we spend less than RM30. I am so gonna go there again.:)

I felt bad because he paid for everything and i've paid none. So, when he told me he wanted to go to the bank, i asked him to go alone as i wanted to buy something. He wanted to follow me but i urge him not to. So, we stop in front of Pizza Hut and as i am convinced that he is far enough, i went to a bakery nearby and bought him a cake. Just a slice of cake. I was and still having economy crisis. I chose chocolate fudge for him and it cost me a lot. But i dont mind. As i was walking out of the bakery, there he was walking towards me. He was looking for me.

When i asked him why he didnt just wait for me at the bank, he said he was worried about me as the place is quite dark. Aww, isn't he the sweetest thing ever? Ok, i better stop talking about him or i will not stop..:) Anyway, we sit under the moon( actually it is on the park bench) and i sang the Happy birthday song to him and ask him to blow the candles and before that i asked him to make a wish. There is no candles actually, we just pretended that there is one. We spend the night talking and when we are done, we went back.

Well, that's about it folks. Will post soon. I promise.:)

Happy Bday Baby!!

2010-11-16T03:17:00.001+08:00

Its the 16th November 2010..

And its his bday..

Just wanna make a quick shout out to him..

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY BABY..MAY YOUR DAYS BE MERRY AND BRIGHT AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS AND IN ALL WAYS..

Yesterday, which is a few hours ago...

I sat for my social theory exam...mind you, its damn hard...i thought the question would be general and just on the touch-and-go basis but boy how i was ssssoooo wrong..

The question were specify..from the idea of history by Karl Marx, Marx Weber alienation theory to Emile Durkheim's social solidarity..

As i open my paper, my mind go blank..i certainly did not prepared myself for this..

Guess you cant always see whats in front of you and you should always expect the unexpected..

Two more papers to go but i wanna take two or three days off from reading and studying..i already have problems with my eyes this few days..i don't want to burdened them anymore..

Gonna spend time with him in couple more hours..Can't wait...:)

Of Madah Samarahan, Water Rafting, Assignments and Final Exam

2010-11-04T09:40:00.005+08:00

Its been quite some time since i blog. Due to my busy-ness, im feeling very lazy to do anything but facebooking. I think it is also because i dont like to do anything with so much things in my head. I rather have my head clear from everything so that i can use my thinking cap much better.

Anyways, i wanted to blog about this 4 things separately but what the heck. Rather write altogether..

Madah Samarahan,
Finally it is out. As i said last time, it is my university newspaper. My feelings: Glad, happy and proud that i actually can produce newspaper. But i am so lazy to sell it. There are some still left in my room. I just hope people will want to buy it because it seems like they look at our newspaper as something uninteresting. Sigh.

Water Rafting. Padawan Raft Safari 2010.
Went for water rafting competition last sunday. It is tiring, exciting and we got number 4. Not bad for a beginner. The place is very beautiful and i would like to go there just to admire the nature. What a beautiful sight. And the water is so clear and sooooo cold. Well, that is what i feel and would feel if i were sightseeing.
But when you are competing and working in a group, all you want is to win and to finish the race immediately. 26km.Paddling for 2 hours++ straight is not fun at all. Getting yell at in the process is even worst. And the worst part among the worst is, paddling for approximately 1 hour without water. Luckily, i manage to control myself from being angry. And thank god that the water is very cold, that it manage to control my body temperature from being angry and being over dehydrated.
The verdict: Getting number 4 even though we were the last team to start the race. There were 13 team.(They start the race by letting go of the raft one by one and we were the last team). We said our sorry to each other. Yeah, i understand why it happen so really it is nothing.

This is us on the way to the finishing line. From the back, Duri, Me, Cheryl and Hamieza.

Assignments,
I still have my last assignment to do and i just finish it yesterday.Finally. Ok.Full Stop.

Final Exam,
I havent study. Really need to study. GAH.

Am I dying?

2010-10-27T03:58:00.002+08:00

This few days i keep thinking that i will die soon. Soon, as in a few more days/weeks/month...or maybe in just 2 or 3 years. Lightning will be the cause of my death.

Hmm...
I dont know. Is it because i fear of lightning that i think that i will die? Or is it because of stress? Or because i over think things? Im not sure but whatever it is, it is bothering me. Whoever thought that i am cute because i think im dying, please stop feeling that way. Life and death are no laughing matter. Maybe i am dying for real and if i am, will you still be laughing? It has bother me much. I keep asking myself to stop thinking that way but i just couldn't. The thought came everytime it rains and in my place, it rains awfully much.

If i am,
What should i do? Repent? I dont want to if i dont feel to. I dont want to be fake to my god. Yes, i love him and yes, if heaven and hell do exist, i rather go to heaven. But faking myself up, faking that i am holy is not going to cut it. And i do believe if i deserve to go to hell, then i should go to hell. Heaven is a beautiful place for good people and i am not good. Lord, you know me better than anybody else did. If i do you wrong, I am sorry.

Which makes me think,
Is it so wrong to hit the club? I like dancing and having fun with my friends. I like loud music and i like watching people showing their moves. Imagine if all the people in the club wears normal clothes. Just a t-shirt and a jeans with a pair of sneakers or maybe slippers, would you still consider it as a bad place? And the drinks are non-alcoholic? Minus the sex element in people's mind. Will it still be a bad place? One of my friend, who is a holy man said that in Australia, if im not mistaken, there's a "clubbing" place for holy people. The music is just as loud and people are dancing wildly just the same. It is in a dark place with flashing and glittering lights. But no alcohol and no sex. And of course, no drug. Now, if there's a place like that in Malaysia, I will surely leave the normal club and go to that kind of club. But still, is it wrong to go club? What is so wrong with club? I like watching my friends and myself let loose after the stressful weeks.

I just dont know what to think anymore. In order to repent, i have to stop going to the club. I will, eventually. No worries. But will the time wait for me to do that? Only God knows.

*Another question stuck in my head*

Tambalutku, Kouvangku

2010-10-25T22:03:00.003+08:00

Tambalut, Kouvang...it means friends in kadazan/dusun.
Friends are important in our life...for me, there are my substitute family since i am currently away from my family. They laugh along with me when i am happy and they cry with me when i am sad. Yeah, we have our fair share of disagreement here and there but nothing too serious tho.

Lately, there are some disagreement happens among my friends. Even though i'm not in it ( as far as i know), i cant help but feel sad.
I know they need time to cool off but i hope it doesnt take long.
I cant bear watching them not speaking to each other and acted as if they never knew each other. Enough one case in the beginning of the semester, there's no need for another one.
If the world is small, then this place is not big enough for any of us to run and hide. They will ran into each other eventually.

Im having group discussion and im suppose to give idea..but i have one brain and i cant multitask in this kind of things..so peace out...hehe..

*Need to have more time for myself*

Finally Free

2010-10-20T01:13:00.002+08:00

All this weeks, i've been trying to update my blog. But i couldn't. All those assignments drove me up the wall. I can't even sleep properly as my mind kept reminding me of all those undone assignments. At times, i sleep approximately 3 hours a day. Really working my butt off for assignments.

Thank God, it's all done right now. Hope it turns out good. Pampering myself by doing exactly nothing at all.

I have a lot of things to blog about but i'm at my lazy state.

Anyway, this morning we have our Mass Media presentation and our group were doing music industry in Malaysian context. It was quite fun and i took part in most of the genre. I dance to the pop yeh yeh, lip-sync to the rock song, shake my booty for dangdut and pose for Hip-hop.

It was fun and Maria especially caught everybody's attention as nobody has ever seen her go crazy.

i'm out of idea to blog. Till then, folks.

*I just realise that i'm afraid to die. But why wont i repent?*

Nelly- Just A Dream

2010-09-28T04:27:00.003+08:00

When i first heard this song and read the lyrics, it struck me deeply. I felt like the song was made just for me as i ever had this kind of experience.

My past relationship..
If this is what you are feeling, i am sorry for what i've caused.
But you left me no choice but to leave you.
I've try my best to hold on but you are yearning to let go.
So, i did. So should you.

Insert power booster here..

2010-09-22T22:38:00.003+08:00

Oh my.. i am so tired..and i blame myself for it..
I have a lot of assignments, am involve actively in college activities, am busy handling advertisement matters for my university's newspaper and i have no money..
No money as in my money is below RM30..
I hope my sister already tell my mum to chip in some money for me because i am so damn broke..

Oh ya...about me saying i blame myself..
I blame myself for procrastinating..i should've done those works during my two weeks holiday..instead i play game and leisure much..now, my assignments are all piled up and the due dates are close to each other..plus, i havent study for my midterm..oh gosh, i just remember another assignment i need to do...oh my..tension building up..

Involve in college activities..
This one, willing or not, i have to follow it or else i'll be out from college..but i dont really mind..it is kinda fun..i mean kayaking and dancing..those are the two things that i like to do..plus it can help me slim down..:)

My uni newspaper..
Argh..i am so stressful...i only gt 3 confirm advertisement for now and i need another 10...oh my..oh my...my lecturer is soooo gonna kill me for not fulfilling her wish...oh advertiser, please be kind..
And i have to design for their companies...huhu..i am not a designer but i'll try my best..hope they like it..

No money..
Nope..this time nobody can blame me..i have a lot of debts and i have to pay them all up..from rm300, i used approximately rm150 to pay debts..now, i have to re-convinced my parents to give me money...huhu..